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Permalink Reply by Elaine Banks Phillips on June 23, 2009 at 4:43am

Hi EdiGonzales,my name is Elaine and I feel what you are going through. Its been a while with me to,but I like to hear other on how they feel after losing a love one. I lost my son Kris on April 9th 2006 a day I will never ever forget. I miss my son so much. I still cry and have plenty of heartaches about my son. If anyone knew Kris they would have loved him. He was just that type of a son and a person. My son was a New Orleans Firefighter,moving to Marrietta,Ga. to be a Firefighter there after relocating hurricane Katrina. My son recieved the great news that he was hired as Firefighter in the state of Ga. then recieved a letter stating that he had to ba a EMT in order to be a Firefighter in Cobb County. He quickly registered in the Madix School and two weeks before graduations on route to Baton Rouge, La. to be with his sons and fiance,Kris was in a fatal car accident where he was killed instantly. It is not a day that go by I don't mention Kris name or think about what would be going on if Kris was here still with us. Let me explain,I do know that the Lord giveth and taketh away,In the Our Fathers prayers we pray let thy will be done. I also know that God puts no more you than you can bare. I know that yes he is in a good place,but it still hurt,and I miss him soooo much. You know if money would have bought my son Kris back,I would have robbed many of banks to get him back. The death of my son Kris really took a big part out of me. I am no longer the same. Seems like nothing is the same since his death. Yes people states you have a son,a daughter,go on with your life and live for them. This is true,but if you never experience the death of a child than how can you say move on. IT'S NOT THAT EASY,TRUST ME. If it was than I would have been moving on. But yes it is hard moving on. I do appreaciate everyone that feels this way,but only experience it to know the feeling. Some can move on,but right now even after three years he is still there on my mind and in my heart. I miss him so much. So EdiGonzales write anytime like I do and we get consolation from each other.(http://memorialwebsites.legacy.com/wemissyou krisJP/homepageaspx)

EdiGonzales said:

EdiGonzales said:

Twila said:

I have not been on this site for a while but I like what I have read so far. But I am selfish I want my son here with me and where I can see him but I know that can never be anylonger... I miss him so much and I wished I could touch him and see him one more time I still have not had a dream of him and it is now going on 6 months I still feel like "is this really happening to me" my son is gone just a total disbelief at times then I feel he is in a good place and its going to be ok. I miss him so much I went on a trip and the whole time I kept thinking my son is gone and still smiling and trying to enjoy my time there but that thought would not leave my mind and on the plane I was thinking my son is gone and he is not there when I get home..he is still not here. I look at alot of parents when they are with their children and wonder how they would feel and see little boys runing about with their parents I cant help but wish I had my son here with me still. I think maybe I should have waited to have my son a little longer maybe he would still be here...all the what if's that cross my mind. When all I really want is my son my baby...he was 18 but still he was my baby...I was told today yo

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Permalink Reply by Elaine Banks Phillips on June 23, 2009 at 5:10am

Hi Twila,you have expressed every word and thoughts that each and everyone has been saying. But you put it together so that everyone can understand how we feel. Well Done. Thanks for letting everyone know the pain and hearaches of losing a child. Like I say all the time that I lost my mother,father and my first born at 1mo. & 18 days old. But 28 years with Kris took a lot from me. I even had a brain aneurysum after Kris death due to stress also with Katrina in 2005 and Kris 2006. Thanks Twila (http://memorialwebsiteslegacy.com/wemissyoukrisJP/homepage.aspx)
Twila said:

What is normal?
Normal is having tears waiting behind every smile because my son is missing from all the important events in our family’s life.
Normal is trying to decide what to take to put on his grave that he would have loved.
Normal is feeling like you can’t sit another minute without getting up and screaming, because you just don’t like to sit through anything anymore.
Normal is not sleeping very well because a thousand what if’s & why didn’t I’s go through your head constantly.
Normal is thinking of the accident continuously through your mind, wondering if my son suffered or was in pain.
Normal is thinking of every happy event in his daughter’s life he will miss and I will see knowing he will not share it with her, breaks my heart.
Normal is talking of my child’s death and trying to keep from crying each time I say "died" because I still don’t believe it. And yet realizing it has
become a part of your “normal.”
Normal is thinking of first year without him coming up with the difficult task of how to honor my son memory and his birthday and how am I going to survive these days. And trying to find a way to get thru these occasion without him.
Normal is my heart warming and yet sinking at the sight of something special my son loved. Thinking how he would have loved it, but how he is not here to enjoy it.
Normal is having some people afraid to mention my son, “Siaosi”.
Normal is making sure that others remember him.
Normal is after the funeral is over everyone else goes on with their lives, but we continue to grieve our loss forever.
Normal is weeks, and months after the initial shock, the grieving gets worse, not better.
Normal is not listening to people compare anything in their life to this loss, unless they too have lost a child. Nothing compares.
NOTHING.
Even if your child is alive and away in the remotest part of the earth away from you - it doesn’t compare.
Losing a parent is horrible, but having to bury your own child is unnatural.
Normal is taking pills, and trying not to cry all day, because you know your mental health depends on it.
Normal is realizing you do cry every day and night just so you won’t cry when your at work or doing every day tasks.
Normal is being impatient with everything and everyone, but someone stricken with grief over the loss of their child.
Normal is sitting at the computer crying, sharing how I feel with Friends hoping they will understand how I feel everyday without my son
Normal is listening to people make excuses why they did not come and see me or how they could not make it at the time of the funeral and me thinking "it doesn’t matter anymore".
I know my son is in “a better place,” but hearing people trying to think up reasons as to why it was my son that was taken from this earth, makes absolutely no sense to this grieving mother.
Normal is being too tired to care if you paid the bills, cleaned the house, did the laundry or if there is any food.
Normal is wondering this time whether I’m going to say I have four children or three c

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Permalink Reply by mary on June 23, 2009 at 10:19am

July 15 the day they died in 2008 is coming around. I can honestly say that I have tried hard...it is still so hard for me to function right. My son Jonathan has been abroad since March doing mission work. My son Brady works so hard everyday. I dont know what I expect from them but I feel so alone. i know they are having a hard time with this and hurt just as much as I do, but I really thought they would be around me more after Vince & Stephen died.
Being divorced, alone to deal with the pain, my parents are both gone...it is painful very painful every day.
I look ok on the outside, but I feel like Im dieing from the inside out. I keep seeing them in their coffins... i keep thinking about what they are missing on every sunny beautiful day! I wonder if their cold when it snows... I know it is not right to do....but Im just being honest. All I want is for them to come to me and tell me they are alright. As a Mother... I cant stop worrying!
People ask me how Im doing... I say well its hard very hard... i was laid off work... i have no insurance.... my ex husband is still torturing me.... i just dont know how much someone can take.... I try soooo hard every day...its tiring to put on a front.
I've read Twila's beautiful words about what is Normal and can relate totally...and I think she has found her calling. She should write an inspirational book about losing a child. However as each of us knows...it is daily that we feel the way we do. I havent taken any drugs... Im trying to fight this with all the power I have left in me...but there are days when I say...its too hard to take and days that I wonder why I am bothering. Although I know that is not what my sons would want me to feel and not want me to act this way.... it is inevitable... the sorrow isnt lessening... and I seem to have bad days and just getting through the day days and worse days. Yesterday was terrible for me! and I guess I just needed to vent.
I have been praying to God that he takes some of this anxiety away from me...it helps for a while and then Im back to square one!
God Bless us all. and thanks for being there and listening....
Mary

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Permalink Reply by Twila on June 23, 2009 at 2:52pm

mary said:

July 15 the day they died in 2008 is coming around. I can honestly say that I have tried hard...it is still so hard for me to function right. My son Jonathan has been abroad since March doing mission work. My son Brady works so hard everyday. I dont know what I expect from them but I feel so alone. i know they are having a hard time with this and hurt just as much as I do, but I really thought they would be around me more after Vince & Stephen died.
Being divorced, alone to deal with the pain, my parents are both gone...it is painful very painful every day.
I look ok on the outside, but I feel like Im dieing from the inside out. I keep seeing them in their coffins... i keep thinking about what they are missing on every sunny beautiful day! I wonder if their cold when it snows... I know it is not right to do....but Im just being honest. All I want is for them to come to me and tell me they are alright. As a Mother... I cant stop worrying!
People ask me how Im doing... I say well its hard very hard... i was laid off work... i have no insurance.... my ex husband is still torturing me.... i just dont know how much someone can take.... I try soooo hard every day...its tiring to put on a front.
I've read Twila's beautiful words about what is Normal and can relate totally...and I think she has found her calling. She should write an inspirational book about losing a child. However as each of us knows...it is daily that we feel the way we do. I havent taken any drugs... Im trying to fight this with all the power I have left in me...but there are days when I say...its too hard to take and days that I wonder why I am bothering. Although I know that is not what my sons would want me to feel and not want me to act this way.... it is inevitable... the sorrow isnt lessening... and I seem to have bad days and just getting through the day days and worse days. Yesterday was terrible for me! and I guess I just needed to vent.
I have been praying to God that he takes some of this anxiety away from me...it helps for a while and then Im back to square one!
God Bless us all. and thanks for being there and listening....
Mary

Thank you mary for your kind words but this is what helps me and I know there are parents out there who know just what I mean with each word..I also want my daughters to understand how I feel as a mother and me trying to understand from their side also from losing a brother....so I write stuff. There is a story behind "what is normal" my daughter said I was acting weird and ever since her brother died I am not normal...I laugh a little when I read it now...I go to therapy and take pills to help... and she made a comment to me "oh go take a pill" so I put that in there also...So I asked her what is normal i don't know any more. I just want my girls to understand me not only as a mother but as a person also.because alot of times I cant put it in to words for them so I write for myu daughter to read my feelings because if it was any one of them it would be the same way...I love my children and everything I did in my life was for them and now one is gone forever and I hurt so much for him he spoke to me about his dreams and his goals for his life and his daughers. It is so hard and I try to think I have his daughter she is still a part of him and me and it helps. So when I feel like giving up that is what I think about. But I ask my self what is my purpose now there are so many questions going thru my mind and if I dont get them out and on paper I will go crazy...sorry to have to write all of this I do ramble on...but I'm happy a little that somone understands me there are other mothers and fathers who really understand wished it didn't have to be this way but you understand me and thank you for that and its because we loved our children so much and to deal the absence of your child it is so hard...
thank you
Twila

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Permalink Reply by Debbie Williams on June 24, 2009 at 4:10pm

Twila said:

mary said:

July 15 the day they died in 2008 is coming around. I can honestly say that I have tried hard...it is still so hard for me to function right. My son Jonathan has been abroad since March doing mission work. My son Brady works so hard everyday. I dont know what I expect from them but I feel so alone. i know they are having a hard time with this and hurt just as much as I do, but I really thought they would be around me more after Vince & Stephen died.
Being divorced, alone to deal with the pain, my parents are both gone...it is painful very painful every day.
I look ok on the outside, but I feel like Im dieing from the inside out. I keep seeing them in their coffins... i keep thinking about what they are missing on every sunny beautiful day! I wonder if their cold when it snows... I know it is not right to do....but Im just being honest. All I want is for them to come to me and tell me they are alright. As a Mother... I cant stop worrying!
People ask me how Im doing... I say well its hard very hard... i was laid off work... i have no insurance.... my ex husband is still torturing me.... i just dont know how much someone can take.... I try soooo hard every day...its tiring to put on a front.
I've read Twila's beautiful words about what is Normal and can relate totally...and I think she has found her calling. She should write an inspirational book about losing a child. However as each of us knows...it is daily that we feel the way we do. I havent taken any drugs... Im trying to fight this with all the power I have left in me...but there are days when I say...its too hard to take and days that I wonder why I am bothering. Although I know that is not what my sons would want me to feel and not want me to act this way.... it is inevitable... the sorrow isnt lessening... and I seem to have bad days and just getting through the day days and worse days. Yesterday was terrible for me! and I guess I just needed to vent.
I have been praying to God that he takes some of this anxiety away from me...it helps for a while and then Im back to square one!
God Bless us all. and thanks for being there and listening....
Mary

Thank you mary for your kind words but this is what helps me and I know there are parents out there who know just what I mean with each word..I also want my daughters to understand how I feel as a mother and me trying to understand from their side also from losing a brother....so I write stuff. There is a story behind "what is normal" my daughter said I was acting weird and ever since her brother died I am not normal...I laugh a little when I read it now...I go to therapy and take pills to help... and she made a comment to me "oh go take a pill" so I put that in there also...So I asked her what is normal i don't know any more. I just want my girls to understand me not only as a mother but as a person also.because alot of times I cant put it in to words for them so I write for myu daughter to read my feelings because if it was any one of them it would be the same way...I love my children and everything I did in my life was for them and now one is gone forever and I hurt so much for him he spoke to me about his dreams and his goals for his life and his daughers. It is so hard and I try to think I have his daughter she is still a part of him and me and it helps. So when I feel like giving up that is what I think about. But I ask my self what is my purpose now there are so many questions going thru my mind and if I dont get them out and on paper I will go crazy...sorry to have to write all of this I do ramble on...but I'm happy a little that somone understands me there are other mothers and fathers who really understand wished it didn't have to be this way but you understand me and thank you for that and its because we loved our children so much and to deal the absence of your child it is so hard...
thank you
Twila

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Permalink Reply by Debbie Williams on June 24, 2009 at 4:37pm

I also lost a son. He was killed in a chemical plant explosion this past Oct 2008. His birthday, father's day, mother's day, his kids birthdays were so hard to cope with. My hurt is that my children think that I should be over it and going on in life. They think that I should just remember the good times we shared. I am having a hard time getting past the last days in the hospital seeing him 97% -3rd degree burned, and all the machines hooked to him. I keep a picture of him to try to just remember him that way. But when I try to sleep, my memory is the last days. I did have a vision one night, Joey (my son) came to me and told me that he was ok and thanked me for always being there for his wife and kids. Now his wife is going on with her life and has since taken all memories of him out of their house, this so hard for me. I do want her to go on with her life and to hopefully someday find another husband but I don't want my grandkids to forget their father. They were only 3 and 5 yrs old. It will be hard enough for them to remember him as it is. I have gone to grief counseling and they said that she may have had to remove all memories for her sanity. But she is not close to us like she was before he died. We were so close (like my daughter), it really hurts also. I feel like I lost my son and also my daughter in law

Debbie Williams said:

Twila said:

mary said:

July 15 the day they died in 2008 is coming around. I can honestly say that I have tried hard...it is still so hard for me to function right. My son Jonathan has been abroad since March doing mission work. My son Brady works so hard everyday. I dont know what I expect from them but I feel so alone. i know they are having a hard time with this and hurt just as much as I do, but I really thought they would be around me more after Vince & Stephen died.
Being divorced, alone to deal with the pain, my parents are both gone...it is painful very painful every day.
I look ok on the outside, but I feel like Im dieing from the inside out. I keep seeing them in their coffins... i keep thinking about what they are missing on every sunny beautiful day! I wonder if their cold when it snows... I know it is not right to do....but Im just being honest. All I want is for them to come to me and tell me they are alright. As a Mother... I cant stop worrying!
People ask me how Im doing... I say well its hard very hard... i was laid off work... i have no insurance.... my ex husband is still torturing me.... i just dont know how much someone can take.... I try soooo hard every day...its tiring to put on a front.
I've read Twila's beautiful words about what is Normal and can relate totally...and I think she has found her calling. She should write an inspirational book about losing a child. However as each of us knows...it is daily that we feel the way we do. I havent taken any drugs... Im trying to fight this with all the power I have left in me...but there are days when I say...its too hard to take and days that I wonder why I am bothering. Although I know that is not what my sons would want me to feel and not want me to act this way.... it is inevitable... the sorrow isnt lessening... and I seem to have bad days and just getting through the day days and worse days. Yesterday was terrible for me! and I guess I just needed to vent.
I have been praying to God that he takes some of this anxiety away from me...it helps for a while and then Im back to square one!
God Bless us all. and thanks for being there and listening....
Mary

Thank you mary for your kind words but this is what helps me and I know there are parents out there who know just what I mean with each word..I also want my daughters to understand how I feel as a mother and me trying to understand from their side also from losing a brother....so I write stuff. There is a story behind "what is normal" my daughter said I was acting weird and ever since her brother died I am not normal...I laugh a little when I read it now...I go to therapy and take pills to help... and she made a comment to me "oh go take a pill" so I put that in there also...So I asked her what is normal i don't know any more. I just want my girls to understand me not only as a mother but as a person also.because alot of times I cant put it in to words for them so I write for myu daughter to read my feelings because if it was any one of them it would be the same way...I love my children and everything I did in my life was for them and now one is gone forever and I hurt so much for him he spoke to me about his dreams and his goals for his life and his daughers. It is so hard and I try to think I have his daughter she is still a part of him and me and it helps. So when I feel like giving up that is what I think about. But I ask my self what is my purpose now there are so many questions going thru my mind and if I dont get them out and on paper I will go crazy...sorry to have to write all of this I do ramble on...but I'm happy a little that somone understands me there are other mothers and fathers who really understand wished it didn't have to be this way but you understand me and thank you for that and its because we loved our children so much and to deal the absence of your child it is so hard...
thank you
Twila

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Permalink Reply by Gill on June 24, 2009 at 5:40pm

My son took his own life at the end of March, we were coping as well as we could with this devastation whilst still going ahead with our daughters wedding. The wedding was this past weekend and now I feel that I am back to square one!!!!

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Permalink Reply by Gill on June 24, 2009 at 5:41pm

I'm sorry I have put this in the wrong area of the forum.I can't think straight

Gill said:

My son took his own life at the end of March, we were coping as well as we could with this devastation whilst still going ahead with our daughters wedding. The wedding was this past weekend and now I feel that I am back to square one!!!!

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Permalink Reply by tiffany wheatley on June 25, 2009 at 3:26am

That is such unimaginable pain. It is so difficult to even respond, but I just want to say something to you because what you described is those final lasting images, and they do stay burned into your memory. My six year old son passed away this past nov 08 from accidental consumption of some illegal drugs that my family had laying around somehow. As I read your entry, it brought me back to those final glimpses that I had of my son lying on the hospital table as if he were simply napping. There was something about seeing him there in that manner that made it almost impossible to believe that he was truly gone. I remeber trying to get to coroner to let me see him again, because I almost believed that he wasn't there. And this wasn't happening. Even with all the time that has passed, and all the blackness that the angels have guided me through, even my son, always smiling in my dreams. Like, that was always my favorite thing about him. Not one picture, not one picture in his little life was he not ear to ear smiling, even the unexpected shots. Ear to ear. Now everytime I see him if I see him when i dream, its been further and fewer lately, he never says a word, he just smiles that smile. But I get caught sometimes off guard, this grief process is as unpredictable as anything imaginable. Sometimes I catch myself almost pretending that this is not my reality. That's dangerous. Like I'm still almost convincing myself this is all a nightmare. I just can't believe that this is the reality I am facing, and sometimes, I just want to stop perservering because I hate it. I don't want to live without my son. I don't want my daughter to hate her birthdays because her brother isn't there. She was so beautiful on her birthday. To have to see a child barely more than a toddler have to cope with such a thing, I mean, this is where my faith factor has to take over, because in my imagination, there is no stretch for that. But the Lord say that his thoughts are far above ours. People try to say that he is referring to prosperity and abundancy. I hear that now, and I think he has to be referring to death. Money we can get in every way imaginable, it's the grave we are frantically pushing the boundaries of science and medicine to overcome. Diseases, we will never see the end of it, even until the end of time, because his thoughts are far above our own. But my baby(ies). I love them so much. Elijah passed on and Aubriellen present. I love them so much. They are so special. SO are all the children of all the families that have suffered these losses. SO special. So loved forever. Nor height, Nor depth, nor anything in this world or the things to come. Nothing can separate us from the love of God. Selah.
http://memorialwebsites.legacy.com/elijahbah/Homepage.aspx

Debbie Williams said:

I also lost a son. He was killed in a chemical plant explosion this past Oct 2008. His birthday, father's day, mother's day, his kids birthdays were so hard to cope with. My hurt is that my children think that I should be over it and going on in life. They think that I should just remember the good times we shared. I am having a hard time getting past the last days in the hospital seeing him 97% -3rd degree burned, and all the machines hooked to him. I keep a picture of him to try to just remember him that way. But when I try to sleep, my memory is the last days. I did have a vision one night, Joey (my son) came to me and told me that he was ok and thanked me for always being there for his wife and kids. Now his wife is going on with her life and has since taken all memories of him out of their house, this so hard for me. I do want her to go on with her life and to hopefully someday find another husband but I don't want my grandkids to forget their father. They were only 3 and 5 yrs old.

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Permalink Reply by Twila on June 26, 2009 at 11:02am

Debbie,
The other day I was feeling so empty and its been 6 months for me and it stills feels like yesterday my son was hit by a truck walking home he was 18 and going to graduate this pass spring, 2009. And it has been hard and nothing makes sense at times for me anymore. But I got a letter from a friend of my daughters and he wrote me such beautiful words and in there he said he was scared to say anything to me to upset me...funny. nothing every would upset me anymore about my son I long to hear his name and just his voice. And if anyone was to talk of him I love it just to remember anything...but he found this wonderful poem for me and I cried reading it..because I wonder all the time if my son suffered or was in pain (always) wonder this and I cry. But you never get over it NEVER that was my baby boy my child I carried him for 9 months and stayed up all night when sick and was there for every ohwee and scapes and I will never get over it. But I care and I do want to listen to you about your son if you could have taken the pain away and it be you I bet trade places I would have in a heartbeat with my son. Oh I miss that smile.. But this poem just made me cry and I want to share it with you and others..I was angry at god I was but I tried to understand but my heart would not let me but slowly it is slowly..because I prayed I did and god took him but I feel this has to be a reason and I cant see it I cant. But I am working on it slowly my heart just would not let me see that and still I am having a hard time trusting again in the lord but it helps me a little each day...So I hope this poems helps you a little.
thanks Twila
THE DOUBLE RAINBOWS
Come follow the Double Rainbows, Mama,
they will bring you right to me.

You should have known I’d never leave you, Mama,
without something beautiful to see.

I followed those Double Rainbows to my son,
lifeless, swollen and bruised. I was empty, tired
and heartbroken, lost, angry and confused.

As I drove in through those Double Rainbows, I tried
to push back the tears. While my mind searched through
my memories, my heart thought of the years; from your
tiny newborn face, to your grown up
worries and fears.

Why was God being so cruel?
Why was God being so unkind?
I knew in my heart that answer
I desperately needed to find.

Please don’t be angry with God Mama, you see
He took me by the hand. He never let me feel pain
or suffer, He never even let me land.

The only thing that comforted me, was the lightning and
the thunder, and those beautiful Double Rainbows
we always seemed to stay right under.
Something inside told me, with every crack
of the thunder, this had to be a message from my son,
My love, My little wonder.

Yes, it was me who sent the rainbows Mama, so that all of you
could see, just how beautiful it is in heaven, with God,
and that I was happy and my soul was free.

Now every time you see Rainbows Mama, you will always
be close to me. I’m waiting for those who loved me Mama,
so that we can always be happy in heaven with God,
For all eternity.
(Written by Nickie Ireland and Trey Hughes)

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Permalink Reply by Twila on June 26, 2009 at 12:05pm

Gill said:

My son took his own life at the end of March, we were coping as well as we could with this devastation whilst still going ahead with our daughters wedding. The wedding was this past weekend and now I feel that I am back to square one!!!!

I always feel that way also it never stops too I was a family gathering yesterday and it was so hard. One of my brothers said "mom" and I could swear it was my son I looked and then I just started crying and so did my daughter she was right beside me and she looked at me and said "god mom" and just broke down. And after that I just wanted to leave because we always were together as a family. I just wanted to stay in bed today all day and cry I miss him so much and I always go back to square one but some days are ok. it is so hard some days and other I can deal with I try and go walking alone and it helps me so much. Take care I wanted to share that with you and say you are not alone its been 6 months now I have not seen or heard my son some times I hate life I do hate it..
Twila

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Permalink Reply by Heather on June 26, 2009 at 8:17pm

My heart goes out 2 U~ I just lost my Only Son in Febuary. I believe that the pain Never goes away but we just get used 2 living with the pain & it is a pain we do not want to live with but we have no choice in this matter. A parent should never have 2 suffer the loss of a child & the pain some time I know just takes your breath away but it is OK. Grief is A Journey that No 2 People do the Same. Grief is work that Never Ends. Remember that Tears cleanse your soul & warm your cheeks...Cry it is OK...I have cryed enough tears to proble fill my own river...always remember memories in the heart are Never forgotten...unless you forget to visit them...You Never completely solve grief, it just keeps changing...keep saying there name it is OK...share there memories that you cherish so much...Always remember whenever death happens, wheather anticipated or not, we are Never ready...Time, Courage,Life help to ease the pain, But it Never goes away...Songs, dates,times, and places & people may all trigger tears but remember tears warm your cheeks...say there Name...it is OK...Also remember this.. there is No Right way No Wrong way To Grieve....No 2 People do it the Same...There is ONLY YOUR WAY & IT IS OK....Your Grief Will Take More Energy Than U Ever Imagined...Be Patient with yourself, Don't Expect to much...Say there Name it is OK....You May Ask, "Why Me"? But remember Everyone in life must experience death & loss someday...Grief is like ripples in the water, one small ripple leads to a larger and then a larger ripple...it is OK...Say There Name...

Take care, one day at a time,
Still Broken Hearted,
Heather

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