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Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1177
Latest Activity: 5 hours ago

Just a reminder to all of you over these next few days. The weather reports all over are talking extreme heat. Those of you out West have even warmer temperatures than here in the Midwest or East. Please keep well hydrated by drinking plenty of water. Hopefully all of you have air in your homes. If not, please find a friend or relative that has air and see if you can go there. Otherwise, find out where the cooling centers in your neighborhood or town are and use them. Please take care not to over exert yourself and check in here.

Discussion Forum

So Lost and thinking about my anniversary

Started by Terry Kent. Last reply by Elvira Castellanos 15 hours ago. 14 Replies

Depression or grief?

Started by Theresa Wimann. Last reply by kim cobbs 20 hours ago. 9 Replies

Why can't I stop the crying?

Started by Elvira Castellanos. Last reply by Jane P. Mar 21. 16 Replies

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Comment by Carol Kayser yesterday
Janeo, doing well! Nothing major, enjoying my little granddaughter, retiring soon and then who knows!! You? You have moved! Far away?
So glad you are still around my friend:)
Comment by janeo yesterday

Carol,

How are you doing ? I hope your doing well. I may not post but I'm always thinking of all you.

Comment by Theresa Wimann yesterday
Thanks for the support Greg. I was sooo off yesterday, I took my heavy duty antidepressant last night. Of course, I slept thru the alarm clock and was groggy all morning. But, I did sleep.
Comment by Theresa Wimann yesterday
Lol that should be 11 pm-12am every day.
Comment by Theresa Wimann yesterday
At the same time Marsha, although I would love to retire, at 55, I would be penalized in my retirement funds. I have to wait until 57 or 58. Even if I was judged with a disability, it would hurt and barely cover my insurance. When Bruce was sick, I used every bit of sick leave and most of my vacation time thru June of this year along with holidays. I couldn't not do it. He needed me so I stayed with him. I would stay at hospice from 6-7 am until 11-12 pm every day. At home I was the only person caring for him for two months. He kicked everyone else out. If I left, he would not do anything, could not I guess. So I stayed and am glad for that.
Comment by Theresa Wimann yesterday
Well, things were better today. I think some conversations occurred at a higher level. So some of the stress is lessened. Floors just need a final buffing and quarter round and edging in front of the tile and a board replaced by the entry. I uploaded pictures.
Comment by Carol Kayser yesterday

Hello Janeo!!  so excellent to hear from you, in your travels! wow, I really hope things work out well for you.  Have missed your presence and so like Marsha, we are glad to hear from you!  Take care aand stay in touch:)

 

Hugs,

Carol

Comment by Marsha H on Tuesday

Greg ... Yes, thankfully things have straightened out between my friend and I.  We are both relieved.  I apologized for something I honestly didn't do because good friendships can have their bumpy roads and it wasn't worth losing this friendship over.  My friend is just different and has hugged me, smiled and laughed along with me and that's about as good as I'm going to get re an apology and I remind myself that each person is different.  If I say something (I'm never nasty unless cornered) I will apologize as quickly as I can.  Sometimes our tongues speak before our brains kick in.  LOL

I am so happy to hear you had a busy weekend (so did I) and it's amazing how much better we can feel when we don't have to sit around and think. 

I know you haven't forgotten to send me the list and that's OK as I do understand.  Just wanted to help you choose the right dog.  I will pray you hear soon regarding your application for that dog and if they don't call soon you call them.  Wish you lived here as I know I could find a great dog for you now that I'm volunteering for the animal shelter. 

The kitchen is almost finished and I have enjoyed my neighbor Dan coming over to do it as it's company for me although I try to keep out of his way.  He's a hard worker and very nice person.  We can get into some great conversations as he visits me for half an hour before leaving.  No romance here.  LOL  Just a friend and he has a girlfriend. I was also delighted to hear from my landscaper and they are going to start work on the rockery garden April 23rd and I'm half excited, but it's not cheap having it done.  As I said before my husband took care of that rock garden as a hobby and I want to keep it nice in his memory.  I have done some weeding and cleaning up myself, but now so stiff I can barely move.  LOL 

Please let me know how things are going and keep busy as it's the only cure for getting through the grief we are going through.

God bless and prayers coming your way

Marsha 

Comment by Marsha H on Tuesday

Janeo ... Well then girl do I have to fly my skinny body on a broom and drop a few bombs on where you live so you'll contact me.  LOL  I know where you live.  LOL  Would like to keep in touch with you as I do worry about you.

Love & Hugs

Marsha

Comment by Marsha H on Tuesday

Theresa ...  Thanks for your nice compliments and I appreciate them.  Even going through grief I try to realize other people have problems in their lives as well even if they have not lost a loved one.  I am happy things are going a bit better for you and it's a start. 

I know how you feel about some people being so smug that those of us who grieve for our spouses should be over it as if they never existed.  Their turn will come one day!  Don't listen to any of their mumbo jumbo and we have a right as individuals to grieve as we so choose.

I don't know if you have it in the States, but you can get disability here for Post Traumatic Stress which now is accepted by Canadian Health Care and considered a psychological disability so try looking that up as you may get more time off.  Also in Canada an employer cannot fire an employee while they are seeking help for this problem and you might want to check that one as well. 

I hope today is a little bit better for you Theresa and I am always in awe of your postings and encouraging so many of us or just venting how you feel and I really respect you for that.

Hugs

Marcy

 

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