Grief support groups, condolence advice, funeral etiquette and more
A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.
Latest Activity: 38 minutes ago
Started by Angela Giallombardo. Last reply by liz w yesterday.
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Cheryl and Sandralee,
What Marsha has posted is so true...this forum and all the friends on it are going through the same heartbreaking events and emotions and thus we understand where others may not. I have not posted regularly since I found this forum months ago simply because I am not getting through my bad days of grieving very well and can't seem to find int in me to offer much encouragement to others when I am this way.
As I said before, I would give all that I own (we all would) just to have my beloved wife sitting in the kitchen with a cup of coffee and waiting to just discuss small things of everyday life with me. I still can't focus or want to do ANYTHING on some days and have the gut wrenching feeling in my stomach and heavy feeling in my chest. The stress and tension that we feel has made us feel years older and caused many physical ailments. The grieving is also an individual process and thus we will get better when we get better and no individual will be the same in that way. We all pray and wonder "when will this end?.
All we can offer is hope and encouragement to one another and help in any way possible with information regarding every day problems that pop up when finding yourself so deserted at times.
Janeo, it is heartening to hear that you had a good day cleaning your house. I have thus far been unable and can't find the energy to do any of the much needed work and repairs. I still think "why bother now" and that is certainly not going to work for me for a long time.
I feel the pain of the many new members on the forum and want them all to know that we have all shared similar emotions and hope that we can all find some peaceful, tolerable days in our lives very soon. Hugs to all.
Boy this must be our day. I went to the Senior Center Friday and there was this couple at our table and all he did was complain about the food and everthing else. I sat there as long as i could but had to keep thinking man you have your wife with you so why are you so miserable? I came home and cried the rest of this weekend and I am still so depressed I just want my hubby with me. You are so right Helen this is just existing and I keep asking existing for WHAT haven't found that answer yet so if someone has it please don't hesitate to let me know. hope everyone can have a better day./Mac
Sandralee - You have just described my day exactly. It is pure hell isn't it? Our husbands meant we had a purpose in living. This isn't living - it is existing. I am with you all the way
Cheryl Know exactly what you are feeling. This has been a day when I didn't get up and then decided to go and order some purple cushions to tie in the purple carpet with the duck egg blue everything else as I have at long last has the filthy duck egg blue carpet ripped up and the purple one so Morley walked on it as well. Don't know why I am bothering as no one has been in my house apart from tradesmen for around 2 years. I then proceeded to cry all the way home and have been back in bed ever since.. I just miss Morley so much and cannot live without him but have to. This is the pits and I don't want to be here any more. I know other widows (and widowers) are suffering just as much but, sorry that doesn't help me at all. I know it is pure selfishness but this life is just not worth living because the pain of losing the only man who every really loved me and made me feel special is no longer and I am finding it so hard to believe he is waiting for me so Cheryl I am with you all the way
Hello all, sorry I have not posted or been on lately. I am struggling with a bad spell of the cry for some reason. Its not that I want to and I know its out of my hands but I miss Mike so much. I dont want to function. I cant focus, I cant think,Im getting where I dont want to do anything. I have been doing ok as far as forcing myself out but that is becoming a chore. I had been going to the cemetery once a week and did not even go this past week. That dang knot will never go away. I just want MY MIKE!
Im starting to appreciate the few good moments of no tears. My face is all broke out like a teen from stress and Im 50. i dont know just felt like posting to at least release a little tension.
janeo- glad you had some time with Richie.
Christopher - sorry for your loss and having to deal with family situations that just add to the ordeal of living without our loves. Hope you had that dinner.
Sandralee- Im so sorry your having a rough time. I dont have any answers for you dear, as i too feel like you stated.
hope everyone else is doing well, one minute at a time ... Cheryl
Janeo ... Always wonderful to see you post. I'm proud of you for cleaning and I know it's easier to just not look at it and let things go than it is to do, but once you get started, trust me, it becomes addictive. I'm sending you an email.
Love & Hugs
Sandralee ... I am so sorry you are having such a rough time of it and we all know just how you feel. How long has it been since your husband passed? My husband Ernie passed April 27, 2011 of pancreatic cancer and although the gut-wrenching heartache has subsided a little certain things can still set it off.
I am so very sorry you are alone this weekend. If you can hon try to surround yourself with at least one single loyal friend and try to fill in at least one evening on the weekend. Someone that doesn't mind if you cry when you want to or just need a good hug.
This is wonderful forum to come to as we all are in the same boat, you can say what is in your heart without being judged and I found this forum and the extended family that comes with it (all angels in their own right) got me through some very bad times. I hope that you will keep posting and know we are here to keep you afloat.
I will tell you this, eventually it does smooth out. When I lost Kris I became very scatterd mentally. I could not hold focus at all. Fortunately because we worked together our coworkers knew where I was at as did our residents (I work in a nursing home) so they forgave a lot out of me. There is not a timetable as to when it gets better. Just let things flow.
It's been just another day. Nothing special. I went nowhere, saw no one and did very little as usual. I am so lost without my husband. I miss him more than words can ever say. I am barely getting through the days. When will this all end.
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