Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Christine J on November 27, 2010 at 11:33am

Hi Allison...I'm so sorry for the loss of your sister. I lost my brother in May of this year. It's okay to be upset and have a "meltdown"..you lost your sister. You are allowed to grieve. The holidays are tough and if your family decides not to have the traditional Christmas this year that would be okay. For Thanksgiving this year we went to a friend's house, something we never do as I always cook for Thanksgiving. I wanted to do something out of the ordinary and not traditional. Keep that in mind when Xmas get closer. Your nephew will need you, I'm sure he'll need someone to talk too. Maybe even a professional grief counselor who deals with children. It may also be necessary for you to talk to someone outside the family...a best friend, a counselor. Someone who's there for you..to listen to your grief and pain. As far as "ruining" Xmas, I don't think that's possible...it's already different because your sister isn't there. I wish for you peace for the holidays and remember when looking into your nephew's eyes your also looking into your sisters. She will always be with you....just because her body died her soul didn't. A book that's helping me .....Healing After Loss....by Martha Witmore Hickman.

Permalink Reply by dee holey on December 2, 2010 at 5:40pm

i know i loss my sister may22 2010 n she was like my mom bf n sis all in 1 and im so loss without her

Permalink Reply by Lisa W on December 2, 2010 at 6:04pm

My brother died about three years ago and he left two sons they are teenagers there mother died of cancer when they were small .Seems so unfair to lose both your parents but as I read in your story Allison there is other people going through the same thing.
Holidays are hard just do the best you can if you melt down its understandable we cant always be a rock sometimes we just crumble .
So sorry for your pain its hard hang in there Im here if you want to chat.

Lisa

Permalink Reply by Lisa W on December 2, 2010 at 6:09pm

Hang in there Dee you have friends here . Chat with us any time .
You will make it through this one day at a time .

Lisa

Permalink Reply by ALLISON on December 3, 2010 at 8:44am

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know the pain you're feeling. This time of year my sister & I would go Christmas shopping together. I don't know how I'm going to shopping by myself. And I know what you mean about your sister's phone #. I still have all of my sister's #'s in my phone. I can't imagine ever deleting them. I find some comfort sharing my feelings with you & others. No one seems to truly understand. This being a festive time of year, everyone is telling me my sister would want me to be happy. I should go to parties & dinner w/friends. I'm tired of putting on an act for everyone.

Permalink Reply by ALLISON on December 3, 2010 at 8:44am

dee holey said:

i know i loss my sister may22 2010 n she was like my mom bf n sis all in 1 and im so loss without her

Permalink Reply by ALLISON on December 3, 2010 at 9:07am

How are your nephews doing. My sister was diagnosed with breast cancer 15 years ago. She had been cancer free until a little over a year ago. She never thought she could have children because of her chemo treatments so her son was a blessing. When her cancer returned it never entered my mind that it would take her life. I didn't think something like that could happen to my nephew. He already lost his father & now his mother. He's only 10 & I can't imagine how he must be feeling. He seems ok most of the time. He talks about his mom all the time. I just want to help him as much as possible.

Lisa W said:

My brother died about three years ago and he left two sons they are teenagers there mother died of cancer when they were small .Seems so unfair to lose both your parents but as I read in your story Allison there is other people going through the same thing.
Holidays are hard just do the best you can if you melt down its understandable we cant always be a rock sometimes we just crumble .
So sorry for your pain its hard hang in there Im here if you want to chat.

Lisa

Permalink Reply by Lisa W on December 3, 2010 at 10:07pm

ALLISON GAITAN said:

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know the pain you're feeling. This time of year my sister & I would go Christmas shopping together. I don't know how I'm going to shopping by myself. And I know what you mean about your sister's phone #. I still have all of my sister's #'s in my phone. I can't imagine ever deleting them. I find some comfort sharing my feelings with you & others. No one seems to truly understand. This being a festive time of year, everyone is telling me my sister would want me to be happy. I should go to parties & dinner w/friends. I'm tired of putting on an act for everyone.

Yes I feel like Im going through the motions of carrying on in life but its still hard after 3 years and they flew by I feel like I lost time somewhere because of trying to cope . Im doing better but thde loss of my brother will always be with me. People dont get that unless they have been through it.
I still have my brothers name in my cell phone also. I miss him so much . His two sons are in highschool one graduating this year and I think I sure wish he was here .It is really hard ...

Permalink Reply by Maggie-David's little sister on December 17, 2010 at 9:59am

It brought me great comfort to read this discussion... Didn't want to feel this way. Nice to know I am not alone.... I did not want to erase my brothers phone #.. I still want his pictures everywhere and still want to talk about him...  feeling like I am the only one in my family who can't move on.
Lisa W said:

ALLISON GAITAN said:

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know the pain you're feeling. This time of year my sister & I would go Christmas shopping together. I don't know how I'm going to shopping by myself. And I know what you mean about your sister's phone #. I still have all of my sister's #'s in my phone. I can't imagine ever deleting them. I find some comfort sharing my feelings with you & others. No one seems to truly understand. This being a festive time of year, everyone is telling me my sister would want me to be happy. I should go to parties & dinner w/friends. I'm tired of putting on an act for everyone.

Yes I feel like Im going through the motions of carrying on in life but its still hard after 3 years and they flew by I feel like I lost time somewhere because of trying to cope . Im doing better but thde loss of my brother will always be with me. People dont get that unless they have been through it.
I still have my brothers name in my cell phone also. I miss him so much . His two sons are in highschool one graduating this year and I think I sure wish he was here .It is really hard ...

Permalink Reply by Melinda Rodriguez on December 18, 2010 at 11:52pm

This is the 1st Christmas without my sister Marie.  My sister passed away on March 24, 2010, after being diagnosed with breast cancer just a short 8 months before.  What makes it worse is that her birthday is also on Christmas day.  I pray that all my new friends I have met on this support group make it through this holiday season ok.  I know we can only take it one day at a time when trying to cope with not have our brother or sister or any love one that we lost on during this holiday season or any day.