Comment

Comment by Lynzee on December 12, 2011 at 9:39pm

Hillary, I know how empty you are feeling at this time of year,  maybe something you could do this "holiday" season is to dedicate or do a Memorial gift in honor of your brother.   Perhaps just knowing that something is in his memory will help you.... plant a tree, donate to a charity.... something that you can feel would be special to you and to him.  Take care.

Comment by Gay Kennedy on December 12, 2011 at 4:20pm

Our brother died November 7th and I am having a terrible time dealing with it.  He was diagnosed with cancer Oct 13th and died here at my home November 7th.  I have another brother and a sister.  This is the first sibling we have lost.  Giles and I were pretty close and had ridden horses together.  I just miss him so much.

Comment by Glenda Speelman on November 30, 2011 at 8:39am

Hillary, I will be praying for you. I am here if you need to talk. Email me anytime

g-speelman@tamu.edu

No one here will abandon you!

Comment by Jared Cunningham on November 30, 2011 at 1:07am

Hillary: I feel or have felt every single thing you listed in your post! You are NOT alone! We are all here for you. Please feel free to contact me on here or email as I can hear the desperation in your words and am more than happy to just listen or help go thru all the questions you have. Your friends may have temporarily abandoned you... but I will NOT.

jaredmt1@gmail.com

Comment by Jared Cunningham on November 30, 2011 at 1:07am

Hillary: I feel or have felt every single thing you listed in your post! You are NOT alone! We are all here for you. Please feel free to contact me on here or email as I can hear the desperation in your words and am more than happy to just listen or help go thru all the questions you have. Your friends may have temporarily abandoned you... but I will NOT.

jaredmt1@gmail.com

Comment by Lisa W on November 29, 2011 at 11:07pm

Klynn,

Hang in there Im here to listen :)

Comment by klynn on November 29, 2011 at 9:19pm

I suppose it is because it is the holiday time of year, but I really miss my sister.  She was 13 months older than me. The last time I spent with her, other than email, was Christmas, 2008 at my house.  All that she went through just tore my heart out- it was impossible to feel more sorry for anyone than I did for her. It still is.  But, there was nothing I could do to ease her pain-either emotionally or physically.  She had as much, if not more, emotional pain as physical and no time to work through it.  All of her energy was taken by the physical demands of battling the cancer. As a single mom myself, (my sister was divorced but had no children) working full time at a job with no fmla, (and no way to pay my bills if I took an unpaid leave even if it had been an option) I could only be there for her when I wasn't working and had to try to miss as little work as possible to keep the job --or my kids and I would have been homeless.   We got together as much as we could and we emailed each other up until the last few days before she died in June 2009. (She had head & neck cancer so her ability to talk was effected) I also have younger siblings and my parents are still living and in the same area as my sister- so thankfully, she had other people and her church family for support in addition to me. She had just finished the last radiation treatment that Christmas and was healing -from that time until April, it looked like she would win the battle. She had taken the treatments two years before and had recovered well-she had gotten back to living her life for those two years when the cancer returned it was only eight months after the second diagnosis that she died.  How I miss her! She was my only older sibling and she was the only one I remember always being there my whole life other than my parents.  She deserved so much better than this short life and all of the suffering the last few years. She wanted a future and if I could have, I would gladly have shared mine with her.  Missing my sister as I will all of the rest of my days. Wishing we could have had more time to share now and that she could have better times the last few years she did have with no illness robbing her of her enjoyment of the time she had left.

Comment by Lisa W on November 29, 2011 at 8:42pm

Hillary your not alone Im here if you want to chat:)
Were all here for you.

Comment by Hillary on November 29, 2011 at 6:39pm

I feel like it was my fault that I lost my brother..I did not call him that week that he passed away and if I had, I could have prevented this...no one understands...no one has any real answers. I am so tired of this life and all the misery that comes with it. I beg God for answers but he never listens to me. Its almost like he hates my guts and wants me to suffer...I don't know how much more I can take. NO one will talk to me anymore..and all my friends deserted me.

Comment by Glenda Speelman on November 29, 2011 at 8:16am

I decorated my tree Sunday and as I hung the twin ornament someone gave me, an overwhelming sadness came over me. I miss my brother so much.  I pray each and everyone of you have a very happy holiday season.

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