Dear Anna Cacchillo, When I read your post, my heart broke for you. I don't know what it's like to lose a son. I humbly admit I don't know what you are feeling but I do send my heartfelt sympathies for the lost of your dear Jesse. At 31 years old, I don't even have children because cancer has left me barren. However, I know what your pain looks like. My mother lost her son, my brother. He was only 26 years old. To watch the emptiness it cast on our family was overwhelming and to see her anguish pain me. He was the light, joy and laughter of our family. NOTHING is as good as having Jesse in your arms. NOTHING. I do not think there is anything or anyone who would dare attempt to slip you a "heal-pill" that can stop the hurt you feel. However, if I may I'd like to share what helped my mother. Since God created us, who better to offer real answers to the WHY, HOW, WHEN. If God cares, why does he allow this to happen to good people and ravage families? My mom says these thoughts helped her:
1. WHY WE DIE? (Romans 5:12) That is why, just as through one man sin entered into the world and death through sin, and thus death spread to all men because they had all sinned—.
2. DID GOD TAKE OUR LOVE ONE? Lastly a loving God would never take someone from people that love them. “With evil things God cannot be tried nor does he himself try anyone.” (James 1:13).
3. FUTURE-Jesus Christ, through God's Kingdom will soon do away with death forever. God “will actually swallow up death forever, and the Sovereign Lord Jehovah will certainly wipe the tears from all faces.”—Isaiah 25:8.
4. HOPE-We also have a loving hope to see our dead loved ones again, alive and healthy. Jesus already showed he could do this when on earth and will soon do it on global scale (Acts 24:15) “and I have hope toward God, which hope these [men] themselves also entertain, that there is going to be a resurrection of both the righteous and the unrighteous."
5. COMFORT-(Psalm 34:18) “Jehovah is near to those that are broken at heart; And those who are crushed in spirit he saves.” (Philippians 4:6-7) Do not be anxious over anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication along with thanksgiving let YOUR petitions be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God that excels all thought will guard YOUR hearts and YOUR mental powers by means of Christ Jesus.
These scriptural thoughts kept my mother going through the days, weeks and years. Even when the hurt took the life out of her and days she didn’t want to go on. It help her to mourn with hope, to not be swallowed up by her grief. Again, I am not a therapist, nor a parent. However, I pray that these thoughts bring you comfort as it did our family during our loss. Feel free to contact me anytime. Our prayers are with you.