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At 5:57pm on November 25th, 2009, jeremys mom said…: Brenda, I will be thinking of you tomorrow and I pray that you make it through the holidays. I won't say have a Happy Thanksgiving because I know that is impossible for all of us, just to make it through will be a blessing. Debbie

At 7:06pm on November 19th, 2009, jeremys mom said…: Brenda I'm glad you got some release and let the tears flow, I know it helps sometimes. I've never really been a crier but now I find myself crying at the drop of a hat, over some of the strangest things. Certain things can come on tv and I have to get up and leave the room. I, like you, hold a lot of things in, I try to be strong in front of my family, so I am constantly wearing this mask. I will be praying that you make it through the holidays and happy birthday to your Michael. God bless you, Debbie

At 5:31pm on November 16th, 2009, jeremys mom said…: Hi Brenda, I've been thinking about you. It's so strange to suddenly have these bonds with people you don't even know. It's easier to talk to people on here than with my own family and close friends.

I do notice those stickers everywhere now, it's so sad. None of our lives will ever be the same. My life is defined by that moment. Everything now is "before Jeremy died" or "after Jeremy died".

The holidays are getting close and we will all have to struggle through them. This is my second one without Jeremy but it's not going to be any easier, and then his birthday will be coming up on February 1st. Rough months ahead. I will be thinking of you. God bless you. Debbie Delete Comment

At 3:44am on November 15th, 2009, mike perla said…: im so sorry for your lost . i know sorry doesnt really help some times i hate that word sorry. but what can we say . i lost my baby sister on a car accident on may of this year she was on her way to prom. some times life has realy hard things waiting for us . i cant understand why good people always die so soon.i have no words to explain the pain my family and i are going through.

At 1:54pm on November 13th, 2009, jeremys mom said…: Hi Brenda, I was thinking about you today. Hope you are doing ok. I'm not sure if I'm doing these right because sometimes when I leave a comment for someone it posts to my page and not theirs so I don't know if they've seen them or not. For some reason this week has been tough. I've been really emotional, not sure if it's the holidays coming up or what. I had Wednesday off for Veteran's Day so went out to the cemetary and sat with Jeremy for a while, that seemed to help a little bit. I miss him so much. I wish I could have one more big hug! Keep in touch. I will be praying for you and for everyone on this site.

At 9:38pm on November 9th, 2009, Kathy Mook said…: Hi Brenda, This is exactly why sites like this one are so needed. I thought I was totally crazy because I had a tapestry of the Last Supper that hung on one of every apartment walls that Jon ever lived in that I started hugging as I went to sleep. It's not that we are crazy, it's that we are so desperate to hold them and hold on to anything that will help us feel close to them. I don't know if you have ever heard of Barbara Johnson. She was a Christian writer known to most people as the "Geranium Lady" because one of her first books was "Stick a Geranium in Your Hat and Be Happy". She too was acquainted with much grief. She lost one son in Vietnam and another to a drunk driver. I highly reccomend her books to Christian and non Christian alike because she had such a unique way of dealing with her grief. A lot of her books are available in the public libraries. Anyway, in one of her books she told how someone who had died, had preplanned to have those little clear,shiney,flat marbles handed out to everyone in attendance. It was to represent sparkles of joy. Which by the way is another title of one of her books.(Sparkles of Joy in the Cesspools of Life). So since I didn't have much money when Jon died, I made his remembrance cards and wrote a poem inside and handed out those marbles. I keep some of them in my pocket, on my keyboard at work, everywhere because they were all there at his service and they make me feel close to him. This is why we need each other. Even my family, right here doesn't know what I've told you because they would tell me I'm losing it and try to make me stop. Do you know how to add people as friends? I always get an error message. You mentioned a counselor, I think with all the disfunction in my household on top of my grief, I'd drive them crazy.lol.I consider you a friend. You can talk to me anytime. Blessings. Kathy

At 4:08pm on November 8th, 2009, Kathy Mook said…: Brenda, You are so welcome for the response. I know that my family cares but we are such a disfunctional family that no one can express what they feel so they don't want to talk or hear about Jon. I remember in the beginning of this grief walk, I needed so much to have someone not just read what I wrote but to respond even if it was only a way for me to know that someone read what I wrote. I just had this desperate need for someone to even just say, I'm sorry for your loss. Every site I went to had a few parents who had lost children but the last activity by any of them had been months or years. People reached out to me on the Hospice site but none of them had lost a child so I finally contacted the facilitator of the Hospice groups and asked if she could reccomend any other places. She was the one who suggested this group. I will be forever greatful to her for telling me about this place and to Tami for starting this group. I miss my son a lot and still would like to know exactly what happened but I also know that I have to keep going because Jon would have wanted me to and I don't want to miss every new thing that my granddaughter does. She has really been about the only person that makes me smile. Keep in touch. I'll be praying for you. Kathy

At 10:15am on November 7th, 2009, Cindy Sadler said…: Hello Brenda, My name is Cindy and I feel so Bad for loss of Your Son and Everyones Loss of their Sons and Daughters. Until someone losses a Child they will Never Even Begin to be able to Imagine the Pain that We go through Day after Day after Day and Night after Night after Night. I lost My Son Danny on his 21st Birthday August 30th, 2009 and now I am a Single Parent of My 9 year Old Daughter Christina whom is also griving, I work 6 days a week, I just moved and have all kinds of Other Demands in Life and I too Wonder "How do I keep going?" The only Answer is that I have No Choice. I know if I could lay in bed Day after Day crying and feeling Very Deeply Sad and that would be pretty much All that I would do. You are in My thoughts.

At 5:09pm on November 6th, 2009, Kathy Mook said…: Hi Brenda,I'm so sorry for the loss of your Michael. I can totally relate to people who don't want to hear it. My son, Jon, died only a little over 4 months ago and my own family don't even want to hear it. It is so difficult to go day after day, working and then coming home and wishing I were anywhere else because no one wants to talk about Jon. All my adult children plus my 2 1/2 yr old granddaughter live with us. My son was my husband's stepson and Jon was handicapped so they didn't really connect. I'm so thankful that Tami started this group so we could all come together to grieve. We all know how much we need to be able to share, cry, vent or just read that others are relating to our sorrow. I'm sorry for why you are here but I'm glad you found us. Blessing, Kathy

At 12:06pm on November 6th, 2009, jeremys mom said…: Hi Brenda, I'm so sorry about your son also. I totally understand what your saying. I move through the days at work and at home in a haze, I don't know how I get anything done. My son is constantly on my mind. I'm trying so hard to be here for my other son and my grandchildren but it's so hard. I know they are all going through their own grief, but I don't think they really understand how bad it is for me, I think I do a pretty good job of masking it. It's so sad to see so many people here sharing the same sadness.

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