"Hey Christopher
Sorry to see that you lost the love of your life. That is why all the rest of us are here. What her family did to you is the crime but what they took are only things. You still have your memories. There was a reason Angela did not…"
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Chicago Beard
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Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses"Jan F
Mazel Tov. Enjoy your new great grandson!"
Chicago Beard replied to Angela Giallombardo's discussion HAVING A TERRIBLE DAY in the group Bereaved Spouses"Angela
My heart goes out to you. Even though I knew my wife's death was imminent when it happened it still felt like it was sudden. For a while (it will seem like forever) nothing will feel right. Food won't taste right or anything. After…"
Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses"Wilela
You do not have to go on to this event if it makes you uncomfortable. If you chose to go do not be afraid to tell him that you do not consider this a date and that you are not looking for a relationship. Personally, I found that I do not do…"
Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses"Cheryl
Carol put it very well. I lost my Rose in September of 2010. She was only 54. The first six months I basically went through the motions and felt like I was constantly in a fog. Things are better and I am in a new relationship but a day does…"
Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses"Hello everyone
Just checking into wish everyone as good a day as their feelings will let them. Virtual hugs to all!"
Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses"Tammy
That poem is so right on the money. It is exactly how I felt and still feel. Thanks for sharing. Be well!"
Chicago Beard replied to Staci Smith's discussion will life ever be the same i know it wont but even food is diffenent. in the group Bereaved Spouses"Today is my Rose's birthday. She would have been 57. She was 54 when she passed, the same age her mother was when her mother passed. Today will be a melancholy day. I still miss her tremendously. Life somehow goes on."
Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses"Helen
The car is where I do most of my crying as well. Things do seem kind of not worth the effort sometimes but then those of us that are left have to make the best of what is left. I feel that is what my Rose would have wanted and to not insults…"
Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses"California Dreamer
Thanks for posting the song. It sure hits home. Of course this life does not kill us even thought there are times it feels like it is going to. Still we carry on best as we can. Peace and hugs everyone."
Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses"Marsha
I read the article that you linked. You are absolutely correct. It is well written and, more importantly, he gets it. Thanks for posting."
Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses"Carol
They can line it so it fits better.
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Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses"Carol
I have had some sort of denture in my mouth since I was 11. My Rose did not care and nor does my new lady. Don't be afraid to go back for multiple adjustments. They rarely fit right the first time and have to be cut down from where they…"
Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses"@ Faith
I had a surgical consult this week about having that exact surgery. The surgeon told me that at this time there was no reason to do it but that it nay still come to pass."
Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses"Marsha
Good luck on your tests. With my Ulcerative Colitis I have had a number of those type of tests myself. Actually, the prep is sometimes worse than the test. I am glad someone is able to be there with you."
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Chicago Beard's Blog
The heart wants what the head can't deliver.
Posted on June 7, 2011 at 11:30pm 2 Comments 0 Likes
I have been a psychotherapist since 1975. I have spoken to many people who came to me about how the head and the heart are not always in sync. I am living that in real time these days. My head knows that Rose is dead and not coming back but my heart refuses to accept it. I get in my car, turn on the radio and start crying. I tell her how much I miss her all the time. I went to a concert we both would have enjoyed and all I could think about was how much she would have liked it.The waves just… Continue
Comment Wall (16 comments)
- At 4:08pm on July 31, 2011,
Barbara Wasilewski said… I hope you had a good day .
My days are so lonely.
Barbara
- At 4:06pm on July 31, 2011, Barbara Wasilewski said…
- At 6:34pm on July 25, 2011,
Marsha H said… Hi Chicago Beard ...
Thanks for letting me know about ulcerated colitis. I think I have GERD. I have done much research in the past two months re grief and find that everything in our body goes wacko (hormonal) when we are grieving. I can certainly believe it. I'll be seeing the doc on Tuesday and as far as looking for another doc our system in British Columbia has a shortage of GP's and other docs and feeling as I do I just can't climb one more mountain of bureaucracy while still grieving for my beloved spouse. One thing I have learned ... God is either going to get me through this or it's time for me to go and as strange as that sounds it does bring some comfort as far as taking the stress off me and hopefully others. I was strong before and I will be again. Thank you to everyone on here for your kind support as it has saved me from going totally over the edge.
Love and my prayers to everyone here
Marcy
- At 8:57pm on June 2, 2011,
Sheryl McCormick said… - Read your post about your anniversary. I am glad it wasn't as difficult as you expected and that you are making some progress in the grieving process. I haven't had to deal with the anniversary yet - my husband's birthday is on Father's Day though. I am not looking forward to that day at all...
- At 12:32am on May 29, 2011,
Carol Kayser said… Thank you so much for your kind words and good suggestion. Isn't that true, so much easier to talk with strangers, with counsellors, than your own family. Things get so complicated. When you read other posts also they do reflect the same issues, that is feeling like a burden, being afraid to ask for help, not wanting to, etc. We had a happier day today and she is expecting a baby any day now and emotions are pretty visible. She and I started talking about her dad and she said how sad she was that she couldn't be sharing her happiness and the baby with her dad but then we both said that he was watching from heaven and he would know he will have a beautiful and loving grandchild who will remind us of him and his kind heart.
Do you like to read? I find it so helpful and comforting to me. Yes, nothing is the same any more, but each day I know my dear sweetheart is right there with me, bringing me through on those rough days and supporting me thru the others.
p.s. you look like such a cute couple! a fun and loving relationship.
Hugs,
Carol
- At 9:47am on May 26, 2011,
Patricia A. VonBenken said… - I agree, I feel that I am on a roller coaster every day. The ups and downs, there seems to be more downs than ups. The next few weeks are going to be difficult, June 19 is our wedding anniversay - it would have been seven years (together for 20), then I have his birthday July 1st, he would have been 57. I usually just hole up in the house during this time, not want to go or do anything. But this year my grandchildren talked me into taking them on vacation in June, so I will be with them which does help. If I am rambling I am sorry, its just that this seems to be the only place I can discuss how I am feeling without hearing, get over it, its been 2.5 years, you need to move on. All I can say to them is that I hope you never have to go through this and if you do, let me see you move on.
- At 9:42pm on May 9, 2011, Sheryl McCormick said…
- What a good description: Grief comes in waves. That so describes it for me. Anywhere from a lap to a tsunami. I often think of a roller coaster....
- At 2:49pm on May 9, 2011, joanie london said…
- Thank you for your comment. May god bless you.
- At 7:50pm on May 2, 2011, Sheryl McCormick said…
- It would depend on when, etc. I help raise two grandchildren who have cystic fibrosis. Their mother died 5 1/2 years ago so my husband and I were helping our youngest son raise our grandchildren. He was taking them to school Nov. 5th when they were in an accident with a semi that killed my husband. Thankfully the children were okay (physcially) emotionally this has been very hard on them. They are so afraid I might die now.
- At 12:54pm on April 29, 2011, Sheryl McCormick said…
- Are you referring to Lake Michigan? I am about an hour and a 1/2 from there but really love the lake. I imagine it must have been hard to be there without your wife. Also the message you received from the person asking you to email them, I'd report it - I received something similar and think it is spam.
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Helen Duncan Hutchinson replied to JJ Currie's discussion Loss of wife of almost 32 yrears! in the group Bereaved Spouses
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