"The craziest thing that I have heard was by my husbands sister who said to me, at least I can get married again, she cannot get another brother. I was so furious. I was glad that she wrote that through a text message and not in person. Peace be…"
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Tamu Lewis replied to Dee W's discussion Things NEVER to say to a grieving spouse in the group Bereaved Spousesbill smith replied to Dee W's discussion Things NEVER to say to a grieving spouse in the group Bereaved Spouses"Thanks Jan. It blew my mind too. In one case I did confront him and would have been a lot harder on him if not for my loved one in the next room and knowing she wouldn't want me to.
Believe me, our biggest problem in…"
Jan F. replied to Dee W's discussion Things NEVER to say to a grieving spouse in the group Bereaved Spouses"Bill, I could say I can't believe your on oncologist would say that, but I DO believe it. I can't understand how people can be so cruel. I thought doctors were supposed to be compassionate... obviously not. I'm so sorry…"
bill smith replied to Dee W's discussion Things NEVER to say to a grieving spouse in the group Bereaved Spouses"Wow. You'd think I'd be numb to the shockingly obnoxious and thoughtless to the point of asinine remarks people say by now, having heard enough of them (fortunately all second-hand like this - I guess in that way I've been…"
Maria M replied to Dee W's discussion Things NEVER to say to a grieving spouse in the group Bereaved Spouses"I just love (not!) the "you're young, you'll find someone else" line. Like we can just replace them so easily.
The worst thing anyone said to me was a 72 year old patient @ my job. She commented about my necklace…"
Jan F. replied to Dee W's discussion Things NEVER to say to a grieving spouse in the group Bereaved Spouses" Somehow my rant ended up where it wasn't meant to go. Still have trouble navigating around on here. Sorry.
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Marsha H replied to Dee W's discussion Things NEVER to say to a grieving spouse in the group Bereaved Spouses"Patti ... You are so welcome. Doesn't matter if you were married or not; you had a wonderful relationship and feel grief like anyone else. You are basically legally married anyway I think. It's 6 months of living together…"
Patti Pritchard replied to Dee W's discussion Things NEVER to say to a grieving spouse in the group Bereaved Spouses"Thankyou for the reply and the hug... We weren't legally married, which is why she is trying to push me around... The piece of paper didn't mean that much to us and we didn't have alot of material things... So I decided to…"
Marsha H replied to Dee W's discussion Things NEVER to say to a grieving spouse in the group Bereaved Spouses"Patti ... I am so very sorry for your loss and that after only 3 weeks after the loss of your husband his ex wife is pushing you around and demanding her adult children's clothes. She has no tact at all. You did not mention (none of…"
Jan F. replied to Dee W's discussion Things NEVER to say to a grieving spouse in the group Bereaved Spouses""You need to forget about Don and get over it, move on with your life and quit ignoring other people".
That's just the latest in a long list of hurtful words from my father, over the last 7 months. On the morning that Don didn't…"
Anne Keazer replied to Dee W's discussion Things NEVER to say to a grieving spouse in the group Bereaved Spouses"With the passing of my second husband one woman asked me "Did your kids (from a previous marriage) REALLY even know or really have a relationship with him?" My jaw dropped and I said "Of course they knew him, we were…"
Patti Pritchard replied to Dee W's discussion Things NEVER to say to a grieving spouse in the group Bereaved Spouses"My partner of 5 years died 3 weeks ago... The DAYAFTER he died his exe wife sent me a text message telling me to get his things together because she was sending someone to pick up "her childrens belongings"... His children are adults and…"
staci roberts nastri replied to Dee W's discussion Denial in the group Bereaved Spouses"thanks bob, as I previously stated those "baby steps" are sometimes the only thing that gets me through the days. Just this week we celebrated my husband's 34th birthday (the first since his passing) and it opened a whole new can of…"
bob santoro replied to Dee W's discussion Denial in the group Bereaved Spouses"HI Staci, baby steps is a good thing as long as we are moving in the right direction. You mentioned about "accepting the new realities". In my own healing over the loss of my wife, I've come to the conclusion that…"
staci roberts nastri replied to Dee W's discussion Denial in the group Bereaved Spouses"Please don't judge your healing in association within a time frame, firstly. Secondly, I just joined this group due to the fact that July 11th will be a year since my husband's sudden death due to cardiac issues that we did not know of.
He…"
bob santoro replied to Dee W's discussion Denial in the group Bereaved Spouses"I agree, taking it one small step at a time is much better for those who have lost a spouse. I remember when my mom died, my father donated all her clothes within two weeks of passing. I could never (and still don't) understand how or why…"
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From Mourning to Morning...my journey down the painful path of bereavement
Dee W's Blog
Christmas
Posted on December 30, 2011 at 1:26am 0 Comments 0 Likes
As much as I love Thanksgiving and Christmas, I am thankful they're past...at least for another year. There was such an ache in my heart throughout the entire month of December...I just wanted the holidays to be past and behind me yet it seemed the month drug by ever so slowly. Trying to stay upbeat and…
It Feels Like Eternity
Posted on December 22, 2011 at 6:59pm 0 Comments 0 Likes
During the first few months after my husband passed, I remember looking at the calendar and thinking, "Wow! It's already been 4 months? It feels like it was just last week." However, it has not stayed that way. Time seems to be interminable since October. Lately, I look at the calendar and think, "It's only been a little…
Comment Wall (2 comments)
- At 8:48am on January 3, 2012, betsy toombs said…
Dee
I go to one of these and it is very helpful to hear that you have the same problems. It is more helpful than doing a one on one.
- At 3:47am on December 29, 2011,
Jane P. said… Dee, This time of the year seems to escalate our pain and intensifies our loneliness but some how we move forward. I too look at the calendar and wonder where did the time go. The days move on, the calendar changes months and I am stick in limbo.
As far as cleaning up your husbands stuff the consensus seems to be, when we are ready and only then can it be done in peace. I was able to clean out my husband's suite because he hated wearing them but they got as far as being put in a box and shoved in the bottom of the closet! When I am ready they will make it out the door. Until then they are not bothering a thing so they will stay there.
Stay strong and remember there are NO right or wrong answers down this road. It is up to you and what you are capable to handle.
Hugs, Jane
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