Hi Gerry...

   Just recieved your last message. I am the same way today at 4-1/2 years later. I think I wrote it in the letter to Jordan  when I said "I'm just getting used to it". I think that is all we do. I always used to say..."we won't get over, but we'll get through it". But I think getting through it, consists of dealing w/the pain. It isn't numb like the very begining...we FEEL all of it. We just slowly get used to it. The only time I feel really good, is when I am corresponding with you or someone else from this site. {which is very rare w/puter messed up}. Nobody else knows how I  feel; and the longer it has been. No one remembers, so like today Jordan's Birthday, it's kinda sad. But in a different way now.  I don't know if you understand what I am trying to say. Anyway...much love to you.          Leslie

P.S. WE DESEARVE EVERY BIT OF CREDIT WE CAN GET, so take yours.

With Love n Prayers!

Hi Gerry...

   Just recieved your last message. I am the same way today at 4-1/2 years later. I think I wrote it in the letter to Jordan  when I said "I'm just getting used to it". I think that is all we do. I always used to say..."we won't get over, but we'll get through it". But I think getting through it, consists of dealing w/the pain. It isn't numb like the very begining...we FEEL all of it. We just slowly get used to it. The only time I feel really good, is when I am corresponding with you or someone else from this site. {which is very rare w/puter messed up}. Nobody else knows how I  feel; and the longer it has been. No one remembers, so like today Jordan's Birthday, it's kinda sad. But in a different way now.  I don't know if you understand what I am trying to say. Anyway...much love to you.          Leslie

P.S. WE DESEARVE EVERY BIT OF CREDIT WE CAN GET, so take yours.

With Love n Prayers!

Dear Gerry,

   Thank you for your words, they seem to always make me feel better. Though I don't feel like I'm helping anyone...I feel like I'm just venting. But just knowing {as I felt in the begining} that I really wasn't going crazy, and that there were others that "really" knew how I was feeling; made all the difference.

You were by yourself too, sorry. It makes it that much harder on us. But I believe

You are doing really good Gerry... I know it may not feel like it; but to "know already" that EVENTUALLY you will forgive that man, is a good thing. I used to tell myself ..."I WAS going to be okay, I'm not there yet...but I will get there someday".  I felt I had to be ok, at least someday...or Jordan would be upset, and blame himself if I wasnt.

And you "want" to forgive him, because your son would want you to(it doesnt matter the reasons)...it is a goal. That may take time, but it's a goal. And as long as we are looking toward our goals, we're moving ahead. Do you know what I mean?

I do keep you in my prayers...God and I just had a long talk! {Smile} And you know Gerry, it's almost like when Jesus died on the cross...God really does know how you feel. May He  Bless you, and comfort you...Your Friend always Leslie

Dear Gerry,

   Thank you for your words, they seem to always make me feel better. Though I don't feel like I'm helping anyone...I feel like I'm just venting. But just knowing {as I felt in the begining} that I really wasn't going crazy, and that there were others that "really" knew how I was feeling; made all the difference.

You were by yourself too, sorry. It makes it that much harder on us. But I believe

You are doing really good Gerry... I know it may not feel like it; but to "know already" that EVENTUALLY you will forgive that man, is a good thing. I used to tell myself ..."I WAS going to be okay, I'm not there yet...but I will get there someday".  I felt I had to be ok, at least someday...or Jordan would be upset, and blame himself if I wasnt.

And you "want" to forgive him, because your son would want you to(it doesnt matter the reasons)...it is a goal. That may take time, but it's a goal. And as long as we are looking toward our goals, we're moving ahead. Do you know what I mean?

I do keep you in my prayers...God and I just had a long talk! {Smile} And you know Gerry, it's almost like when Jesus died on the cross...God really does know how you feel. May He  Bless you, and comfort you...Your Friend always Leslie

Hi Gerry,

How is everything with you?  I don't go o the site too frequently anymore, but was compelled to look at it tonight and thought of you.  We are supposed to go to trial next week, but have my doubts that it will actually happen.  What's the status of your case?  I hope it's moving along faster than ours.  Write me when you have a chance.    Judy

Hi Gerry,

How is everything with you?  I don't go o the site too frequently anymore, but was compelled to look at it tonight and thought of you.  We are supposed to go to trial next week, but have my doubts that it will actually happen.  What's the status of your case?  I hope it's moving along faster than ours.  Write me when you have a chance.    Judy

Gerry...Did I tell you that Jake's accident was on a motorcycle as well?

Gerry
Thank you for the heartfelt words and yes I believe these two would be talking bikes. He loved his bikes and the freedom they gave him. He was always the life of the party and so very loved and respected. We donated 6 vital organs so that he may live on thru others and he is buried with all young people surrounding him so I know he has company.As I sit here this evening with my candle for my son my heart knows no recourse than to ache with this heavy sadness.
Again my thanks and blessings
Colleen

Hello my dear friend, Gerry. How are you doing these days? I tried to "friend" you last week and thought the attempt failed, but maybe you received it? I know the first anniversary of Ric's death was not too long ago, so I'm wondering how you're holding up. I think the second year has been harder for me in some respects. In some strange way, I'm still numb, can't believe this has happened; yet in other ways, I know it's real and I'm trying so hard to live on. I feel like I'm almost in some kind of tug of war with myself, not wanting to totally move on because in this new chapter of life Jack isn't physically a part of it. I know he's always with me in heart and spirit, but it's hard to create new memories without him here. I miss him so much and am helpless to change what's happened, and I feel sad, mad, confused and frustrated, sometimes all at once.
The driver of the car still awaits trial. It's scheduled for December 6, but have doubts as to whether it will go. The legal system is so very slow and it seems that a defendant with a half decent attorney is going to be able to take advantage of (more like exploit) every delay the system allows. It's wearing me down but our commonwealth attorney is still working hard. The driver in our case has been out of jail since 10 days after Jack was killed. Is the driver in your case still in jail or out of jail? I'm sorry this is dragging on for you; I thought it might go quicker since he's a repeat offender. I can't even begin to describe all of the emotions I feel when I think of this part of Jack's death. The lack of conscience on some people's part is something I'll never understand, and there are many who support the driver of the car believing the guy's story that he wasn't driving. Human nature is really hard for me to understand sometimes. I hope you don't mind me venting - it's been a tough morning for me. Take care, and write back soon. Judy