"Thank you to everyone who has been writing about beable to share themselves with someone again. I have learned in the almost year that Joe has been gone, that I know I cannot love anyone in the same way that I did Joe. We grew up together…"
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Kay Arcuni
- Female
- North Fort Myers, FL
- United States
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Kay Arcuni commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses"Christy, Deborah and the rest of us here. Thank you, just knowing that I am not the only one that feels like this. I just don't like to always write because I could go on for days, and I feel like I say the same things over…"
Kay Arcuni commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses"Hello all, it has been a very lon gtime since I posted anything here. It has been 11 month Sunday that Joe left us and I still sometimes feel like it just happened. So many things have gone on in my life in the last 11 months. I am…"
Kay Arcuni replied to Renee Semo's discussion Im trying very hard but my grief is making me physically sick! in the group Bereaved Spouses"Renee, you are not crazy, I haven't been here in awhile, but reading your message is how I have felt since the holidays. Like there is something I should be doing but I don't know what it is, and it scares the hell out of me that it…"
Kay Arcuni replied to Renee Semo's discussion Im trying very hard but my grief is making me physically sick! in the group Bereaved Spouses"Renee, you are not crazy, I haven't been here in awhile, but reading your message is how I have felt since the holidays. Like there is something I should be doing but I don't know what it is, and it scares the hell out of me that it…"
Kay Arcuni commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses"Thank you Mary for some light at the end of what seems like a never ending tunnel. To have some hope of one day not feeling so much pain. One positive thought everyday!"
Kay Arcuni commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses"Eileen welcome and know that I am truly sorry that you have to be here with us. But this is a great place to be. For now let me wish you peace and wonderful dreams and memories of your husband."
Kay Arcuni replied to Pete Bronson's discussion How do I carry on after almost 31 years together?! in the group Bereaved Spouses"Missing their voice and feeling their touch is the hardest loss to bear. Christmas time especially is hard because it's not the decorating or the gifts its the extra special feeling of love and caring that people share with one another at this…"
Kay Arcuni replied to Suzanne's discussion Feeling Horrible. in the group Bereaved Spouses"Suzanne, I am so sorry you are feeling so angry especially at this time of the year. I know the feeling of not wanting to die, but not wanting to live. When my Joe passed, I finally knew how my mother felt. She was a young widow my…"
Kay Arcuni replied to Suzanne's discussion Feeling Horrible. in the group Bereaved Spouses"Suzanne, I am so sorry you are feeling so angry especially at this time of the year. I know the feeling of not wanting to die, but not wanting to live. When my Joe passed, I finally knew how my mother felt. She was a young widow my…"
Kay Arcuni commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses"Well, I find myself caught in that strange place, I want to be happy because it is Christmas but I am so sad that happy just escapes every time. My grandkids are little and they of course know that nana is sad because grampi is gone but they…"
Kay Arcuni replied to Jill Cobb's discussion Just wondering in the group Bereaved Spouses"I'm very sorry for your loss Jill. I am I guess older than you I'm 52 and my kids are grown, but we had our girls early so we had just started to be able to enjoy ourselves we were high school sweethearts and married for 33 years. My Joe…"
Kay Arcuni commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses"Tina, that is so wonderful what a great tribute to your husbands life and the caring person he was. God bless."
Kay Arcuni commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses"To Linda and the others, I am sorry that Macky seems to think that this a click, but if you have ever been a member of any type of group, there is always the core, those who particitpate more because they need or want to. Then those who participate…"
betsy toombs left a comment for Kay Arcuni"I know what you mean about making no decisions for a yr. I have heard that before.
I am planning to sell in the spring as long as i can get another house.
We had only been here 10yrs. We moved from the city and the house that he raised his kids in…"
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Comment Wall (16 comments)
- At 11:21am on December 20, 2010,
kathy obiedzinski said… kay: i to have grandchildren i have twins 3 1/2 and a granddaughter which is 10 when george passed the boys were young but you know they still remember their pop pop i show them his picture and ask who is that they think pop pop is sleeping my granddaughter was taking is very bad she was worried about her nana but you know you have to be strong and make the best out of what we have. i am praying for everyone i have a special prayer for those who just lost their spouse and december is anniversity's birthdays that so i pray everything goes ok for all
- At 7:36pm on December 12, 2010, betsy toombs said…
I know what you mean about making no decisions for a yr. I have heard that before.
I am planning to sell in the spring as long as i can get another house.
We had only been here 10yrs. We moved from the city and the house that he raised his kids in so i have noreal affinity for this place. i don't want to be out in the suburbs now by myself.
- At 1:21pm on November 8, 2010,
Ellen Brant said… - Kay, My heart bleeds with intense sadness to hear the story about Joe and know what I went through with Doug and surely so many others of us before have dealt with and some have yet to deal with. My pain is so intense. I do believe in your case the MDs should have proceeded with tests that were routine before any type of surgery and allowed you the knowledge of those results. You may make a list of what you were told and things that you were not before deciding to persue any legal aid. Perhaps you can get someone to assist you that has been through the similar footwork. I am keeping you close in prayer that whatever choice you make you receive peace and that Joe is at Peace regardless. Now for Kay to be at peace ...that is where I too am baffled and stuggling. Not even an attorney can wave a wand for that unless he brings Doug back... HUGS
- At 1:21pm on November 8, 2010, Ellen Brant said…
- Kay, My heart bleeds with intense sadness to hear the story about Joe and know what I went through with Doug and surely so many others of us before have dealt with and some have yet to deal with. My pain is so intense. I do believe in your case the MDs should have proceeded with tests that were routine before any type of surgery and allowed you the knowledge of those results. You may make a list of what you were told and things that you were not before deciding to persue any legal aid. Perhaps you can get someone to assist you that has been through the similar footwork. I am keeping you close in prayer that whatever choice you make you receive peace and that Joe is at Peace regardless. Now for Kay to be at peace ...that is where I too am baffled and stuggling. Not even an attorney can wave a wand for that unless he brings Doug back... HUGS
- At 10:41pm on November 2, 2010, betsy toombs said…
- I had the same thing with my cat. My husband and the cat would sit together every day and watch tv. My cat is 14. He just couldn't understand where his buddy went to. He kept looking for him and for a few weeks wouldn't even go in the tv room where they used to sit together. He kept looking at me like i did something with him
- At 10:42am on October 31, 2010, Kay Arcuni said…
- Thank you Barb, I know it's a process but in this case I have to sell this stuff. When Joe passed we had no insurance and I am paying the rent on the unit he was working out of. I still haven't told the landlord he's gone yet because I don't want them to lock the place up on me. I also have a garage at home full of tools, which I probably will never get rid of, at least not until my grandson get old enough to decide weather he wants to work wood like Grampi or not. The whole thing just stinks, and it's so unfair that we have to be talking to one another because of our circumstances.
- At 6:34pm on October 30, 2010,
bc said… - I know how you are feeling Kay. When Brad left I had to sell all his tools that we used together restoring classic cars. Everytime one sold I cried. I still have things left but I don't want to get rid of them right now. And his closet still has a lot of things in it, everytime I open it, his scent is in there, that's my "haven" when I need to feel closer to him. Take a break, things don't have to be done all at once. Baby steps.....
- At 5:36pm on October 17, 2010,
Kathy King Kates said… - I thought I read somewhere that your husband passed on August 17 so I hope yu are doing okay today. It's amazing how long the # 17 in your case and in my case 25 for Feb 25 sticks with us for sometime. I read in one of the articles here that we need to move fast to the happy celebrations like birthdays and anniversaries and try to get away from the "death day". I know that is hard to do and I do believe they mean once we get past the pain of the firsts for all of these events. My mom passed 3 years ago and my sister & I celebrate here birthday and mothers day together and try to forget January 11 as much as possible. It will eventually help. Prayers with you today and lots of hugs.
- At 11:07am on October 11, 2010, betsy toombs said…
- hi Kay
mine has been gone 6 weeks!!! Seems like a lot longer. I know how hard this is.After 32 yrs to be alone and not know what to do.
Hugs to everyone today!!
- At 12:50pm on September 15, 2010,
kathleen caylor said… - Sorry if I scared you.I respect the anonominity of bereaved spouses.
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