"Hi David, I am so sorry for your loss. I too lost my partner of 6 years due to a sudden heart attack on Aug 20. I don't really remember what I did in the first week unless I tried hard to. The shock and disblief were so overwhelming that I…"
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Kevin T
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- Troy, MI
- United States
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Scott Hankins left a comment for Kevin T"Well said David! The hole left in you heart will always be there and it will always hurt, but after losing two partners and only 27 I can tell you it does get easier. Sometimes it feels impossible to get up but you must every day. Good and bad days…"
David Shipley left a comment for Kevin T"Hi, Kevin!
You have my deepest sympathies over the loss of your partner. I read your message and remember how it was. You even used some of the same words as me like "roller coaster". I'm going into 6 months since I…"
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- At 11:22pm on September 4, 2012, Scott Hankins said…
- Well said David! The hole left in you heart will always be there and it will always hurt, but after losing two partners and only 27 I can tell you it does get easier. Sometimes it feels impossible to get up but you must every day. Good and bad days will happen, in time more of them will become good. Just hold in there and stay close to friends don't shut them out. I belive they are never gone for good but just a see you later. God bless you. Scott.
- At 9:43pm on September 3, 2012, David Shipley said…
Hi, Kevin!
You have my deepest sympathies over the loss of your partner. I read your message and remember how it was. You even used some of the same words as me like "roller coaster". I'm going into 6 months since I lost my partner ... and right now words are shallow to you--but I'm going to try the way others tried with me.
Give it a couple of months... this emotional roller coaster ride does last a while. In the meantime--take care of yourself. I didn't even want to eat for the first couple of weeks--but your body needs fuel--even to grieve.
If you're working, your job may be enough to occupy your mind for long stretches--I am retired. But a couple months later, I needed to get out of the house and do something. I volunteered to work in the concession stand at a local community theater. It was a much-needed change of pace--the work was easy, I met a lot of nice people and I got to see 4 shows for free. Volunteering is a great way to get out of the house--especially when you're suddenly alone there.
Be strong. You must be. I'm sure your partner would not want you wandering around like a zombie for several months. When you find yourself starting to feel sad ... try to remember all of the good times you had with him. Eventually the good memories will settle in and when you think about him--you will smile rather than getting a tear in your eye.
Be prepared--when you eventually have to go through his things--be read for that to take a while. I was cleaning out a box of Mikes papers and would stumble across a long-forgotten valentine or birthday card we had exchanged--and the tears would start again.
So, in conclusion, you have not only my sympathy for your loss--but you have my compassion knowing what lies ahead for you. But I made it--and if I can make it, anybody can.
**hugs**
David
ps: This is a great site but it nearly impossible to navigate. So if you can't find me here and need an ear, my "normal" e-mail is dship14@hotmail.com ...
**hugs** (again--can't get enough hugs at this time in your life!)
d
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