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The Day I lost my Son
June 22, 2010 at 11:15pm – Martinez California

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The last thing I have ever done for my Son... I love you Joey

Tami's Blog

I just want to Thank everyone for sharing your stories of your Children, I have just lost my beautiful 18 year old Son Joey on June 22 2009, It has been the most painful thing I have ever gone through, His beautiful face and his precious memories never leave my mind, not for one second of one minuet of one hour, awake or asleep.... I re live the day he passed and the whole week leading up to his funeral on a daily basis... It is so hard to cope. I love my Son with all of my being and miss him tr… Continue

Posted on August 2nd, 2009 at 5:00am — 16 Comments (Add)

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At 10:58pm on November 20th, 2009, Janie said…: Hey Girl,
How are you doing? Are you taking your time for yourself during the preperation of the holidays? I sure hope so, you don't need to get sick. Joey would
not be happy with that. You still need alot of time for yourself and your heart. You sound so strong in
these writings, yet I know your heart is so full of pain. Please write back. One of my friends I've gotten pretty close to through Legacy, is waiting for
the results of a pretty serious illness for herself. I
am so scared for her. We have become like sisters.
although we never met, we write all the time and talk
on the phone, we're thousands of miles away. With
love and prayers hopefully she'll be ok. Tami take care of yourself. Your friend, Prayers, Hugs and
will always be thinking of our special group. I'm sorry to see the numbers keep getting higher.
Love Janie

Legacy, I have gotten pretty close to

At 11:07am on November 18th, 2009, Tami said…: Hi Debbie, I need to know what state and what city, the date and year, for the newspaper report, I am so sorry that you have had to endure this, I am going to assume he has the same last name as you. I am going to tell you what I did two days after my sons accident, (I think I was crazy with grief, but hey It worked for me!) First I went to the CHP office to get a copy of the report, of course it wasnt done, they had to do an investigetion....it took 3 months to get it back, (they really did a terrible job so now I am fighting that) anyway, I then went to the coroners office to get that report,that took about two weeks I just had to sign a paper for its release and then they mailed it to me, yes it was heart breaking to read, but I had to know, I also went to the ambulance company, fire department and sherriffs office, I had to have everything, Im sure you can call these places if you are not up to going in, you have the right to have all of this, If it is to much for you, maybe you can get a family member to help? If we lived close I would go do it for you! I am in California.
I have a folder that i keep everything in.

At 7:22am on November 18th, 2009, debbie lewis said…: i am not sure how much you want to know , so let me know ok , i would appreciate it. thanks

At 7:21am on November 18th, 2009, debbie lewis said…: good morning tami,
i called the mental health workers that worked with jason, and i was not happy with them at first , but after i spoke with one of them , she helped me with some dates, i was so grateful to her for that. I know now why i never heard from the workers cause they had no idea jason died. i am not sure if the police or coronor tried to get in touch with me or not. All i know is that the mental health people told me that they placed a missing person's report on the 24 of june 08. i guess the police did not connect the missing person's report with the body in the morge. i am still trying to find the courage to call the police for more information. I was totally exhausted mentally yesterday talking with that lady . i am trying to find out about the article in the newspaper as well. i tried to add a pic of jason but it did not work. my heart hurts even after a year and i lost interest in everything. i think jason was treated by the police as a homeless person and that he had no family , i am not sure how much investigation they did.. my son was not, he was loved by his family very much!!

At 9:04pm on November 17th, 2009, Janie said…: Tami, its Janie again. I just read over our writings. I'm sorry I never really told you about Rich. Go on to our newcomer =Debbie Lewis. I just wrote her a little
about what happened to Rich. He did not have cancer
I lost him because the doctors didn't figure out what
was wrong until it was too late. He should have had emergency surgery at the time he went to the ER.
Of course they told him take some muscle relaxers
and call your doctor in the morning. That night he call me crying that he couldn't feel his legs or when he went to the bathroom. Went back to the ER, they
sent him home again. He suffered like that for 4 yrs.
and just kept getting worse all the time. Finally my back doctor saw him and told me and Rich that he would be disableled for the rest of his life and continue to get worse. No surgery would help him.
Not when the nerves in your spine are dead. Read
Debbies wall and you'll figure out the rest. Love to you
Janie

At 8:28pm on November 17th, 2009, Janie said…: Hi Tami,
Thanks for coming back with the information. I'm sure that Joey would want you to make x-mas a great
holiday for his sister. It will be quite exhausting but
Joey will be with you in your heart and telling you,
mom, keep going. You'll be making both of your kids
happy. I also lost my mom a year ago. Actually
tomorrow, the 18th will be 1 year. I haven't really grieved for her all year, Rich , just took over all my
emotions and strength and my life. It'll be 2 years
in January, that Rich will be gone from me. It still
is so hard, and I believe it always will be, until it's
my time to join him. Only The Lord knows when that
will be, but I'm ready anytime. My heart still has the
biggest whole in it and alot of times the only thing that gets me through the day, is smiling and thinking
how happy they all are in heaven, and they are together. I'm jealous they left me behind. Tami
I'm sorry for your loss of your son and your dad.
Just don't over do it, and don't pretend with your
feelings. If you want to cry, just cry, then it'll pass
and you will be able to move on for your daughter.
God be with you and your family. I'm here always
if you need, whelanhottie@aol.com, just in subject
note: Legacy, so I know to open. Love to you
Janie

At 8:07pm on November 16th, 2009, Janie said…: Hi Tami, I have a question, how do we see the postings from the new people in this group? This group is growing and I cant find the site where new people are starting. Please get back to me, so the grief can be shared and maybe we can help others.
Thanks Janie

At 2:43am on November 15th, 2009, debbie lewis said…: hi tami my name is debbie , i lost my son last june and i am so lost and confused , part of me died with him. i feel so sad without him. i am so troubled cause i have no closure , unanswered questions. i was looking up the newspapers where i live to find out which paper had my son's story in it . i need closure so badly. i will share my story if someone is willing to hear it.

At 2:05am on November 15th, 2009, Brenda said…: Hello Tami, I'm so sorry about Joey as I know the feelings you are going threw. I know my heart breaks for us all and I miss my baby so very much. We had a time a few years back that we didn't get along and fought a lot, Bronda moved out and in with my brother in law and his family. She would come by the house from time to time but we missed each other so. She moved back home and that was the start of our mother daughter relationship. From that day on we talked about everything. We got so close the year we moved from Fl. to Tn. When she would get off work I would set up every night till she got home.
The only night I didn't stay up was the night she got killed. I picked the phone up to call her at 1 am and something told me to put it down. I did and she went in the river at 12:35 am so she wouldn't have gotten my call and I would have been worried sick.
I don't have a memorial site up for her but she does have a face book and my space. I sent the paper work to face book for them to keep her page as a memorial as her friends and myself go in and write on it.
Sometimes I feel as though I'm loosing my mind I don't want to do any thing any more and I use to do all kinds of craft things. I just can't get her off my mind. I sleep with a lamb we got her for Easter a few years back and hold her charm with her ashes in it every night when I sleep. She loved owls and the last necklace she wore was a owl I had bought her. I wear it every day.
I see people have added more than one picture here I tried to add more but for some reason they didn't get here. I would like to do a few more pictures of her.
We are all walking down the same road here some of us the road just began and some have been walking it for awhile. My heart goes out to each and everyone of you that has lost a child, the worst pain we will ever face. May God help us all and give us the strength to make it another day.... hugs to all.... Brenda

At 11:49am on November 5th, 2009, Tami said…: This is his Birthday, We all miss him so much...

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