Dear Judy,

Just like yourself, my other son and 3 grandchildren (and a daughter) are what have kept me going. I lost my son Charles this year in May.  My daughter is due to have my 4th grandbaby on the anniversary of Charles' death, and this thought brings me much joy.  Lord bless you and I pray 2012 is a better year for us all.  All the best to you.

Theresa

Dear Judy,

I lost my son Charles the same way this year on May 1.  How old was Chris?  Charles was 26.  His younger brother and I celebrated Charles 27th birthday together Sep. 19. Losing a child to a death by suicide is such a complex kind of grief.

Judy I hope your doing okay my son Andy shoot himself 12/10/10 and I feel so empty without him, out of my four children he was my little prankster I really miss his weekly calls to me always happy something went very wrong but I know he's in Gods Hands stay in touch....................Diane

Hi Judy I am so sorry for your loss. I was reading the pages and shaking my head such trama and loss and sadness. I hope you are ok. i am not so ok. either... but we have to deal with it. Carrie L

Judy - thank you so much for your response...I miss April terribly...we loved each other very much ..I am not angry with her...and despite what people say, I will never be angry with her...she was going thru a divorce..and her husband took everything..and I mean everything...he was in the navy so she was entitled to half of his retirement for all the years they were married and they shared a son...he sued for custody of the son and for all of his retirement - she had just lost her job (her own fault - she started drinking when all this happened and was not getting to work on time)...she lived in another state...but we talked and texted constantly...she kept telling me that everything was fine...she was taking care of everything...I offered to send money to help with her attorney fees - she said no..that ex-husband was taking care of all of that....then she wrote letters to us all - told us how much she loved us - left me instructions on her cremation and what she wanted with her...then took a pile of sleeping pills - her letter said "I wanted to do it all on my own..but it was just too hard...think of me as strong"....it was all pride...and no doubt about it..clinical depression which she had been taking medicatin for - but could no longer afford - when she was found, she was living in their house - her husband had called the bank to tell them to foreclose, she had no running water and no electricity...husband had taken the son since "he lived close to the school and it would be better for them - but I have custody and will control custody"...then she is served with the papers and he was suing for all, claimed she was unfit and she had no attorney because he refused...apparently husband thought it was all a joke...and of course, I have to be civil to him so I can maintain my relationship with my grandson...what a waste and loss of a beautiful life and a beautiful person..she always had a smile on her face ... we enjoyed and loved each other so much...she must have been at her lowest point...and you know as well as I do that one hour, one day, one month..one year - everything would have changed - she would have moved past this...her birthday is June 10th - don't know how I am going to make it thru that day but I have to - no choice - I have made it my project to go thru boxes and boxes of pictures to finish all of the scrapbooks and baby books for my kids (I have 2 other children - she was the middle child) - I want to complete everything and pass it on to them so they can remember as I do...I know people would think that what I am doing is bringing pain onto myself - but it actually helps to move thru all the memories and smile at her smiles...her sister and brother are devasted...I am so sorry about your son...I can not imagine finding him as you did...this is a lonely journey we are on - I speak to my other daughter and my close friend, but most people do not know what to say and mumble thru a condolence...hoping you won't pursue the topic - I can understand that, before this happened I am sure I would have done the same...I am hoping this support site helps me...I sit at work with a mask on my face trying to get thru the day...it is emotionally exhausting...I normally start crying as soon as I get in the car - guess it is a release...I know that I will never get over this...Lulu

Hi I am so sorry for your loss My sister Just forund her son on April 28th same thing he was 20 left anote etc..I was wondering If maybe you can help her or each other I'm at a lossThey say sometimes poeple that have something in common can help each other ?She doesent want to deal at all with this I realize its very soon Do have any suggestions for her or me? Thank you again I am so sorry for your loss of a precious gift I only have 1 son and I cant imagine being in your shoes