Your story was just like mine..we felt the need to blame the hospital because since my aunts death was so unexpected the autopsy showed that the medication they gave her OVERDOSED her..but we still do not know how her body shut down to a medicine that was supposed to help someone on life support. Im really sorry for your 16 year old son, even though i never met you or him im sure he was a great son/kid. I am also really sorry to hear your problem with the police and the whole situation with you or your family bieng denied access to say goodbye to your loving son. It has been almost 6 years since my aunt passed away and i always pray and dream if i could just go back in time and help her and if not atleast say goodbye. Your son didnt deserve what happened to him, and i hope that the 'other kid' gets his punishment in his life..but keep in mind that your son just like my aunt is watching over both you and i making sure no harm is done to us. You are in my prayers and you have all my condolences.
hi everyone,i am on and off here.but i go on the page that everyone writes on when i get one from someone.than i can read them.i have a rough time for tomorrow and the next day,i dont celebrate my birthday much any more.but you all have a nice christmas and god bless you.kristi
At 3:28pm on October 28th, 2008, VeronicaFay said…
Dear Kristi,
It's been awhile since your last post. I just thought about you and hope that you are doing well. I shared some scriptures with a lady today who lost her 19 year old daughter. Then I thought maybe they would encourage you too. Since I said I didn't want to overwhelm you with the Bible, I'll just leave the references and you can look them up in your own copy of the Bible if you want to: Psalm 34:18; Psalm 55:22; 2 Corinthians 1:3, 4; 2 Thessalonians 2:16, 17. I pray that these bring you some comfort and that you are getting along fine.
VERONICA,YES HE WAS A GOOD MAN HE ALWAYS JOKES AROUND AND EVERY THING,I WILL NOT BE ATTENDING HIS FUNERAL AS I WANT TO REMEMBER HIM THE WAY HE WAS,THATS WHAT I DO I GO SEE THE FAMILY AND IF THEY ARE GOOD FRIENDS I USUALLY WANT TO REMEBER THEM THE WAY THEY ARE.MY FRIENDS SAY I AM STRONG BUT I DONT FEEL STRONG.MY DAD EVEN SAID THAT YESTERDAY THAT I MUST BE STRONG TO DO THAT AND I SAID NO BUT I NEEDED TO SEE HER BECAUSE I WENT THROU THE SAME THING ALMOST.THANKS
At 10:03am on September 30th, 2008, VeronicaFay said…
Dear Kristi,
I'm at a loss for words. I was shocked to hear about your friend. I am so sorry. When we lose someone, people say that it helps to focus not on their death, but on the good memories. You've probably heard that a hundred times, but I think it really works. Especially so in the case of your friend. He must have been going through something very difficult to have taken such a final step. I'm sure that he was a good person. And if that's so, hold on to that. Don't let anyone tell you differently just because he took his own life. We can only presume to really know what moves someone to do that, but that doesn't mean that they are a bad person. I pray that you have the strength to endure this and continue to comfort others as you already do.
THANK YOU VERONICA FOR YOUR CONDOLENCES.IT HAS BEEN HARD BECAUSE HAS BEEN ALMOST 2 YEARS AND NOW SUNDAY MY FRIEND SHOT HISSELF SO IT BROUGHT ALL THE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPENED THAT NIGHT BACK INTO MY LIFE,JUST WHEN I WAS STARTING TO GET BACK TO NORMAL THINGS KEEP COMING UP.THANKS YOU FOR THE SCRIPTURES,JUST DONT DO THE SCRIPTURES ALL THE TIME WERE I WOULD GET OVERWELMED.BUT THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR SUPPORT WHILE I AM TRYING TO DEAL WITH THE LOSS OF MY FRIEND NOW.YES HE SHOT HIS SELF AND HE DID IT IN THE MOUTH SO IT IS REALLY STRESSFUL FOR ME RIGHT NOW.
At 9:17am on September 30th, 2008, VeronicaFay said…
Dear Kristi,
Please accept my deepest condolences for the loss of your son. I read your post and was moved by your expressions. It’s very loving to encourage others while dealing with your own loss. In your original post you said that you were having difficulty forgiving God for taking your son. When my grandfather lost his fight with cancer I was heartbroken. Although I can empathize with you, I cannot say that I know truly how you feel, having lost someone so young.
In any case, for those of us who believe in God it can be hard to reconcile how a God of love (1 John 4:8) can allow our loved ones to die. When going through this difficult time, some friends shared a scripture with me that shed light on this. 1 John 3:8 says, in part, that Jesus was made manifest to "break up the works of the Devil." One of those works is death. I was surprised to learn that the Bible does not teach that death is a natural part of life or that God intended for humans to die. In fact, 1 Corinthians 15:26 tells us that death is our enemy. If it were a natural part of life, would not God have created us better equipped to handle such a loss? As it stands though, we never truly get over the pains of death. But we are not without hope.
In that same chapter of 1 Corinthians, verse 57 says that God has given us "the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ!" Jesus spoke of this victory at John 5:28, 29: "Do not marvel at this because the hour is coming in which all those in the memorial tombs will hear his voice and come out..." This is the hope that the Bible offers us. I hope that I have not overwhelmed you with Scriptures, but I really believe that God's Word is the only source of true comfort and it has encouraged me through more than just the loss of my Papa. I would love to hear your thoughts, Kristi. Please email me if you'd like: veronicafay at gmail.com.
Hi Kristi,my computer is down but just hang in there,because earth has no sorrow that heaven can not heal. I really know how you feel. I am still praying for you. I didnot write to you because I was to busy crying and thinking about Kris when my birthday comes. He would puckle his lips up and give me a bear hug saying happy birthday od girl. I would tell him go ahead boy,I don't know where those lips been,than here comes another bear hug holding me down trying to kiss me again. I really miss him. So its OK we can cry together each year. Tears are good,they do release stress and some pain.
I am sorry to hear about your loss. I find the incident is what I need to leave behind, the memories of my son and brother are what keep me going. I may have had them for a short time, but I had them. I can still see their smiles, hear the laughter, voice and footsteps. I have great family and friends and have come through hell with their support. I also find comfort in sharing my healing process with others who have lost. I was angry with God first becasue two good Men died because of one drug addict who survived with no harm whatsoever, then I realized God gave man free will and some people abuse that, God is who whas there to relieve their pain and comfort us all through this.
Continue on with what makes you feel best, speak his name as Marc and Alex are spoken of often.
dear cindy can i call you that.yes i have a flag pole in my front yard and last year i put a fence around it and someone gave me a stone so i put that there and than i had another one so i put that there,than i got some bears for his funeral so i put them on wood and than i bought like some other bears like 4 of them little ones and put them there than my husbands aunt came over and planted iris's and someother kind of flowers since we only can have one thing at the cemetary,well than my friends husband made me a box so we could put stuff in at his grave side and someone stole that so he said i deserve to have another one so he is going to make me it for his birthday and i am going to put it in the fenced place by the flag pole so no one takes it i thought it was so heartless after loosing someone and than someone takes something for you so i put it in the paper even thou who ever took it thinks there funny,i guess they do it every year after memorial day.no i do not do gardening only my roses and my flag pole weeds and my husbands aunt usually comes and helps me with that.no i dont light a candle because when i light a candle i start sneezing,i have apicture right by my computer i look at night and day,and say good morning and goodnight.we have a picture up of him my cousin gave me and my husband waves everymorning to him before he goes to work.but yes i hope you can be my supporter for sept 12th to.thanks and write again.krsiti thank you for helping me since i think both are children were about the same age when they passed.he would of been 18 this sept 12th.it will be a hard day.thanks for the help
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It's been awhile since your last post. I just thought about you and hope that you are doing well. I shared some scriptures with a lady today who lost her 19 year old daughter. Then I thought maybe they would encourage you too. Since I said I didn't want to overwhelm you with the Bible, I'll just leave the references and you can look them up in your own copy of the Bible if you want to: Psalm 34:18; Psalm 55:22; 2 Corinthians 1:3, 4; 2 Thessalonians 2:16, 17. I pray that these bring you some comfort and that you are getting along fine.
I'm at a loss for words. I was shocked to hear about your friend. I am so sorry. When we lose someone, people say that it helps to focus not on their death, but on the good memories. You've probably heard that a hundred times, but I think it really works. Especially so in the case of your friend. He must have been going through something very difficult to have taken such a final step. I'm sure that he was a good person. And if that's so, hold on to that. Don't let anyone tell you differently just because he took his own life. We can only presume to really know what moves someone to do that, but that doesn't mean that they are a bad person. I pray that you have the strength to endure this and continue to comfort others as you already do.
Please accept my deepest condolences for the loss of your son. I read your post and was moved by your expressions. It’s very loving to encourage others while dealing with your own loss. In your original post you said that you were having difficulty forgiving God for taking your son. When my grandfather lost his fight with cancer I was heartbroken. Although I can empathize with you, I cannot say that I know truly how you feel, having lost someone so young.
In any case, for those of us who believe in God it can be hard to reconcile how a God of love (1 John 4:8) can allow our loved ones to die. When going through this difficult time, some friends shared a scripture with me that shed light on this. 1 John 3:8 says, in part, that Jesus was made manifest to "break up the works of the Devil." One of those works is death. I was surprised to learn that the Bible does not teach that death is a natural part of life or that God intended for humans to die. In fact, 1 Corinthians 15:26 tells us that death is our enemy. If it were a natural part of life, would not God have created us better equipped to handle such a loss? As it stands though, we never truly get over the pains of death. But we are not without hope.
In that same chapter of 1 Corinthians, verse 57 says that God has given us "the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ!" Jesus spoke of this victory at John 5:28, 29: "Do not marvel at this because the hour is coming in which all those in the memorial tombs will hear his voice and come out..." This is the hope that the Bible offers us. I hope that I have not overwhelmed you with Scriptures, but I really believe that God's Word is the only source of true comfort and it has encouraged me through more than just the loss of my Papa. I would love to hear your thoughts, Kristi. Please email me if you'd like: veronicafay at gmail.com.
Continue on with what makes you feel best, speak his name as Marc and Alex are spoken of often.
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