All Blog Posts (2,826)

My husband, James, passed away July 4,2014. We met in 1999,married Jan.2003. He became ill & permanently disabled in Nov.2004. He wanted to retire in the south so we relocated in 2007. He was diagnos…

My husband, James, passed away July 4,2014. We met in 1999,married Jan.2003.

He became ill & permanently disabled in Nov.2004. He wanted to retire in the south so we relocated in 2007. He was diagnosed w/bladder & prostate cancer in 2011. Although disabled and having undergone chemo & surgery, with a bit of…

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Added by Mary Jasen on July 30, 2014 at 1:39pm — No Comments

Classes About Death Lend Meaning to Life

In yet another example of how death is creeping more and more into our collective conversations – openly, candidly and practically – a number of college level courses are being offered on the topic. And not just for future morticians! Philosophical, forward thinking and cathartic, even, here…

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Added by Susan Soper on July 30, 2014 at 10:30am — No Comments

Be Hospitable

 At times people that are grieving feel lonely. Don't forget to keep them in mind. If they refuse your invitation at first, try again.  Everyone benefits from good association and positive interchange. (Hebrews 13:2)

Added by TCGOODWIN on July 29, 2014 at 5:09pm — No Comments

Expert Advice for Offering Condolences in Messy Situations

Q. My co-worker was in the middle of a messy divorce when her soon-to-be ex-husband died of a sudden heart attack. She has a 4-year-old son. My question is should I send a condolence note – and if I should, what can I say?  It’s such a complex situation and I don’t want to write anything inappropriate.

“Complex” is certainly the right word. In your place,…

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Added by Florence Isaacs on July 28, 2014 at 2:25pm — No Comments

Postpardum Depression

 The Brazilian Journal of Medical and Biological Research explained: “Postnatal depression is a significant problem affecting 10-15% of mothers in many countries.”....“most cases of such depression do not receive a correct diagnosis and are not properly medicated,” said the Journal.

Tips: Seek professional help, Exercise regularly (helps depression)Avoid isolation (Proverbs 18:1), Rely on a higher source (Proverbs 3:5

Added by TCGOODWIN on July 28, 2014 at 12:49pm — No Comments

Losing Someone and Grief Counseling

Academy of Grief Counseling

Loss equals change which equals grief.  This is a reality of life.  We are constantly in flux and re-adjusting to new realities.  How well we adjust to existing losses in our life will determine how well we move on through the gauntlet of life.

Losing someone we love is an especially difficult loss.   The altering change can cause chaos in our life.   We will be sad and this OK. …

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Added by Mark Moran on July 28, 2014 at 12:05pm — No Comments

"I Can't Believe They Said That"

Some of our well meaning friends and family may say ," it was for the best." Then, you might think, " I can not believe they said that!" You want to punch that person in the face but, you remember to stay calm. Yes, it's true many of our friends and even family members have said the craziest things when tragedy strikes. Remembering the principle at Ecclesiastes 7:21 will get us through.

Added by TCGOODWIN on July 26, 2014 at 9:04am — No Comments

Lost my mom and then my boyfriend 17 days later to suicide.

Hi everyone.  

I have read many of your stories and am amazed at the strength many of you have despite your losses.  Some of your stories are so tragic and my heart grieves for you as well.  My mom had Alzheimer's and she was diagnosed with colon cancer early last year; March.  All of a sudden it came back, late June and she passed on July 4th.  I did have time to say goodbye and am so grateful for those final moments.  My boyfriend attended a memorial we held for her at the…

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Added by Lore DeLaire on July 24, 2014 at 8:05am — 2 Comments

New to Legacy.com... available to assist

Greetings!  I frequent these pages of Legacy.com often as I am a Director of Spiritual Care for an Illinois healthcare system.  I have over 25 years of experience in and around the hospice and palliative care sector - in pastoral care and bereavement.  I founded a child/adolescent bereavement camp in South Carolina and currently serve on the Steering/Planning Committee for the International Death, Grief and Bereavement Conference. I am the author of "Spiritual Growth and Healing," available…

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Added by Andrew Vitale, CT on July 23, 2014 at 11:53am — No Comments

Don't Avoid Calling the Bereaved

It happens every time I call the bereaved; they sound dreadful when they answer the phone. When they hear my voice and realize I’m calling to say hello, their tone miraculously changes and their gratitude seems to seep through the phone line.

The fact is, our phones rarely ring…

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Added by Robbie Miller Kaplan on July 23, 2014 at 10:00am — No Comments

When a Former Spouse Dies

I recently received an email from a friend with a link to an obituary. As an obit writer with a deep-but- not-dark interest in both people – dead and alive – and death (until it happens to me), I get these emails all the time. Many of them I’ve written about on a variety of legacy.com pages.

This one however, was unique to me: It was about a former husband of mine who had just died in Houston.…

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Added by Susan Soper on July 15, 2014 at 2:00pm — 1 Comment

losing my husband and best friend

On June 26, 2014, I lost my husband, William.  I have never felt so alone in my entire life.  I take it one minute at a time.  Sometimes, that minute seems like an hour.  I know he is in a better place with the Lord now and he is no longer in so much pain.  But, my pain is deep and very real. 

I joined this Grief support group to share and receive information/advice from others that have or is going through what I'm dealing with.  

Added by Cynthia R. Laster on July 15, 2014 at 1:34pm — No Comments

After I Cry

Sometimes I do and sometimes I don’t and sometimes I never know why, but, I

 always feel better after I cry. If I listen to a sad song, I might shed a tear…not

knowing if it is the tune, Or the words that I hear. Or, I might watch a move that tears

at my heart when all of the sudden the tear drops start. Hardly a day ever goes by

that something stupid doesn’t  make me cry. I watch the News Show and someone

dies that I don’t even know, the tears flow. A bird…

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Added by Ken on July 11, 2014 at 2:20am — No Comments

Despair

DESPAIR

A lonely old man just sits in his chair wondering…

What am I doing here?

He has no ambition and he’s got no drive,

just what is it that keeps him alive?

To write down an idea or maybe a thought,

and think to himself….Is this all I’ve got?

Added by Ken on July 11, 2014 at 2:16am — No Comments

Begin With a Sympathy Note

Sympathy notes are not easy to write; it’s difficult to know what you can possibly say to comfort someone who is so profoundly sad. And yet we work hard to write them knowing how important it is to acknowledge a loss and comfort the bereaved.

Despite our efforts to send condolences, it might be a shock to…

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Added by Robbie Miller Kaplan on July 8, 2014 at 2:00pm — 1 Comment

how do we go on

This is hard to even tell our story but I think it will help to talk about it, so here goes. On may 30th 2014 we dropped my husband  off at work at 7 am , as we're walking out the door to meet him for lunch his mother pulled up to let me know he had passed. At about 10:15. My husband and I have been together for 18 years. We have 4 young children as well as his older three with his ex. I see them all as my children, they have a loving mother,  they have been such a huge part of my life for…

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Added by Bethany Loux on July 3, 2014 at 2:00pm — 3 Comments

Should Out-of-Towners Attend Your Spouse's Funeral or Visit Later?

Q. My husband has been desperately ill for a long time, and I’ve been told it’s only a matter of weeks now. Close friends who live far away have asked whether I prefer they fly in for the funeral – or visit me afterward. They can’t…

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Added by Florence Isaacs on July 2, 2014 at 7:00am — No Comments

Time and Unforseen Occurrence

Some of us may have lost friends or family members in the 911 terrorist  attacks. I lost13 members of my spiritual family... Some may have lost family or friends through some natural disaster like Katrina or the Tsunami in Japan.... ..."time and unforeseen occurrences befall us all ( Ecc 9:11) .......(sigh)

Added by TCGOODWIN on June 29, 2014 at 5:38pm — No Comments

Things to Help Us Cope

 

1) Talk about it- Don't we feel relieve when we talk to someone even if it's a close friend....

2) Write about it-  How wonderful is this website!

3) Pray- (Philippians 4:6,7) You will get a calmness (inner peace) like never before...

Added by TCGOODWIN on June 28, 2014 at 6:55pm — No Comments

Our Dear Friends...They Mean Well

  At times people say the strangest things:

" I know how you feel"

"You need to get over it"

"You can remarry"

"You can have another child"

And sometimes you feel like saying "be quiet!" You do not know how I feel. Just leave me alone! I was encouraged not to take things to heart ( Ecc. 7:21) because I realize that some people just do not know what to say... I realized that I should also not isolate myself (Proverbs 18:1). It could be dangerous.…

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Added by TCGOODWIN on June 27, 2014 at 6:59pm — No Comments

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