My daughter visited this week and when she arrived she had a twinkle in her eye. She extended her hand and there was a card I had never seen. “I found this while I was cleaning and it’s from Grandma,” she said.



I sat on the couch in front of the fire and opened the card. I’ve re-read notes and letters from my mom many times since her death, but this was a message I hadn’t read before. The note was written just four months before she died and as I began to read, I could…

Q. My colleague’s wife died, and I can’t decide whether to make a contribution in her memory to my favorite charity or find out what the family’s preference would be. What’s your advice? Also, how much should I contribute?



A. Most bereaved will appreciate your thoughtfulness at a time like this, no matter what you do. But since this is about them, not you, I would always try to get the name of their preferred charity. This makes sense especially if your personal…

When it comes to doing the right thing, even I make mistakes. This week, I accompanied my daughter to a funeral at Arlington National Cemetery. The funeral was a beautiful tribute to her friend’s dad and extremely memorable, in more ways than one.



The two of us did plan; what to wear, where to make a donation, and what time we should leave. Since we live in the Washington, DC metro area and rush hour traffic is terrible, my daughter suggested we leave at 7 AM and take the…

If something happens to you while your children are young, who will care for them?

It takes time and energy to get your important records in order. Some of the most important—yet most difficult—steps are those regarding care for your minor children. The paperwork isn’t difficult, but the decisions may be hard. It’s hard to imagine your own death, especially while your children are young. It’s also hard to select a guardian; you can think of pros and cons to any choice.…

Months ago, I led a workshop on communications during difficult times. One participant shared that after a cousin’s spouse passed away, he and his wife had covered all the bases. They attended the funeral, sent a condolence note, and made a donation in memory of the deceased.



While acknowledging his thoughtfulness, I mentioned the importance of keeping in touch in the months following a death. A simple phone call to the bereaved can mean so much; just say hello and let…