My late husband came from a family of three boys. His brothers, twelve and eight years older than him, always idolized their baby brother. Why is it then, that shortly after his death, these two men disappeared from the life of the family that their beloved brother left behind?



Unfortunately, I don’t think this is an uncommon occurrence, although it certainly is always a painful one.



Not an excuse, but as a possible explanation, I believe family members may be so mired in…

When you’ve lost a loved one, the world as you knew it has changed forever. You lose your bearings, relationships change, and routines shift. Nothing feels right and the unfamiliarity is an uncomfortable reminder that life won’t ever be the same.



Most of us cherish the regularity of our lives and it’s our daily routines that give structure to our days. One of the most helpful things you can do for someone grieving a loss is to help them re-establish routines.



1. Offer to…

Q. A colleague’s elderly mother just died, and I wonder if it’s appropriate to route a sympathy card to the entire department so people can express their condolences. I’m also thinking of asking about making a donation in the mother’s name. What’s the proper etiquette in a situation like this?



A. Ordinarily, people should send their own individual condolence cards or notes. But this is different because some…

It’s hard for me to say no. With the best of intentions, many people want to keep me busy. It’s their “cure” for my missing Joe. I, too, thought I must get involved, and my calendar is filled. What I really need is more time to be alone and let myself grieve.



I’m saying no to:





Potluck suppers. I don’t feel like preparing food or making small talk. I would rather stay home with a good book.



Singles groups. The members are…

What is it—and why does it have such a bad reputation?



We’ve all heard of probate, and it seems we all know it’s “bad” and to be avoided. But what is it really? And, given your circumstances, should you make arrangements to avoid it? If so, how can you do that?



First, an overview of what it is.



What is probate?



Probate is a legal process for…