An acquaintance had an aggressive form of cancer. I was kept in the loop via text messages and Facebook and so it seemed natural to learn of her death through a text. A friend of the bereaved sent a mass text, not one but a series, with funeral notifications, meal requests, and donation preferences. Friends of the bereaved began writing condolence messages on her Facebook wall.

My first thought upon hearing of the death was to send a condolence note; but I changed my…

Funeral and memorial services can be “by the book” with very little personal input or take-aways for friends and family, but, increasingly, eulogies may include some pointers on moving forward.

Here are some examples of how obituaries and memorial services speak to us and what we can learn.

Be an organ donor!

A celebration for the life of …

When I worked in education our office had a “Sunshine Committee.” All the money collected from coffee sales went into a sunshine fund. Any staff member sick, hospitalized, in treatment, or bereaved received a floral arrangement from the Sunshine Committee and the committee members sent cards too. The thoughtfulness from the Sunshine Committee permeated…

I have been hanging on to this wonderful list of life lessons waiting for the New Year to let them loose. They were allegedly written by 90-year-old Regina Brett for The Plain Dealer in Cleveland.

In reality, Brett is much younger – not much more than half of 90. She’s been writing award-winning columns for the paper since 2000, and when she turned…

The New Year inspires us to begin anew; to assess how we can start the year in a positive state that will hopefully set the tone for the months ahead. In this frame of mind, I began the morning by dumping my in-box on my desk and sorting through all the items that were not priorities in the busy weeks and months that ended the year.

Buried in the heap was a holiday…

We all know that death is a part of life. And yet when we learn that someone we care about is going to die, we are deeply shocked. When a friend, loved one, colleague, or neighbor is diagnosed with a terminal illness, the news is devastating. It’s possible there are treatments to prolong life or maybe there is nothing else the medical professionals can do. So how do you deal…

In March of this year my husband was diagnosed with gall bladder cancer that had metastasized to his liver given a 3-6 month life expectancy after 3 1/2 months of unbelievable pain and over a month of that a stay in the hospital he passed away on July 15th.  I am usually a very strong person but this is just tearing me apart I am scared to talk to friends and family because I dont want to be a bummer and depressed all the time with them.  I do feel depressed…

Nora Ephron was forever young and forever funny. And all of a sudden, she’s gone!

So many of us could relate to her writings, musings, movies and books – not to mention a failed marriage or botched film that made her really human to her fans. When I was starting my own writing career in Washington, D.C. in the early 1970s, she was writing essays for…

Last year for Memorial Day, I celebrated the life of Staff Sergeant Ryan Patman Means who lost his best friend on 9/11, joined the U.S. Army, received his Green Beret and served his country in Iraq until cancer cut his life tragically short two years ago – just days after the birth of his second daughter in a hospital across the street from where he was being treated for bile duct…

Journalists are great carriers and receivers of information – particularly when it comes to news about each other. We tend to stick together. Facebook has made that even easier to trade information, tidbits, blog postings and personal news whether happy or sad.



Last fall, one of my former colleagues at The Atlanta Journal-Constitution died – a single mom leaving a 10-year-old adopted…

As Mother’s Day approaches, there are lots of children, mothers, sisters, spouses who are missing a woman who meant everything to them. Everything. In many cases, their obituaries probably did not reflect enough about them – their core being – to really illustrate the impact of their lives or the voids they left.



Unfortunately, as the cycle of life proves over and over, there are also…

Sunday, April 1, I was asked to bring my fiction books to sell at a St. Baldrick’s Event to benefit children with cancer. A fellow high school classmate lost his daughter Brianna almost three years ago to a rare brain cancer when she was thirteen. April 1 would have been Brianna’s 16th birthday. Another high school classmate – the owner of a local pub – offered her location for the benefit. The turnout was incredible. For three hours, people had their heads shaved, enjoyed a meal…

Several new movies being released this fall feature individuals and families facing illness and death.

One receiving a great deal of positive attention from critics and moviegoers alike is 50/50, the story of a twenty-something coping with cancer. Based on screenwriter Will Reiser's own experience with cancer, the movie stars Joseph Gordon-Levitt in the lead role and Seth Rogen as his funny and supportive friend. For…

This morning I read something that made me cry. While I can be an emotional person, it's not often that I'm moved to tears.

Today, one of our Legacy.com team members posted on our Legacy.com company blog a reflection on Breast Cancer Awareness Month and what it means to her. Sue lost her sister to breast cancer a few years ago and in the post she pays tribute to her sister's…

I want to make a first short blog here, to get things started a little, and to see how they turn out.

This first post is meant in fact only to say that yesterday, I had to write an article on my regular blog, which is called "For now ..." - and I want to share the link here, so that maybe some of you, who are interested, may pay a visit over there and have a read.

The title that I chose for this…

As anyone with an eye for pink has deduced, October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Here in Chicago, the night skyline – from the Hancock Building to the Willis Tower (a.k.a. the Sears Tower) – is aglow with rose-colored lights. These blush beacons are reminders of the loved ones lost and the work yet to be done to understand, combat and prevent breast cancer.

The displays of pink that appear each October are intended to draw attention to breast cancer, but they…

26.2 miles I walked for a man I never met. Yet I felt him by my side encouraging me as the hours passed and the challenge grew harder and harder. “Keep going,” he urged. “The pain you feel is nothing compared to the pain of cancer that I suffered from.” Jack was right, of course. Battling cancer was a far greater fight than anything that bright October day brought to me. My pain was…

Q. A dear cousin of mine is dying of colon cancer and I’m going to visit him. I want to see him, but I’m also nervous about it. I don’t know what I should talk about. What do you suggest? 

A. This situation has become more and more common—and complex—due to medical advances. One issue involves your definition of “dying.” It used to mean days/weeks/a few months to live. Today, the person may have a terminal illness that allows him to function in life (at…

Last week, Canada lost a national heroine. Betty Fox began her time in the spotlight simply as the mother of one of Canada's best-remembered heroes, Terry Fox, who, after being diagnosed with cancer in his late teens, attempted to run across Canada to raise money and awareness for cancer research. An amazing story made all the more…

This week my thoughts will be devoted to the upcoming birthday of my German Shepherd dog Daisy who died a year and a half ago. Daisy came to me as a puppy at a 5K-road race. It was the last one I attended, realizing that entrance fees would get expensive if I kept bringing stray dogs home.

Although I didn’t realize it at the time, she was a very special dog, the kind of dog that we feel lucky to have in our lives. She didn’t ask for much. She wasn’t a fan of being…