Oh Karen...No need to reply....I just didn't see it on the site and I was wondering if I sent it properly and if the site received it..You need never reply or reply in a day week or whenever...whatever is good for you...please no worries.
Karen, I'm so sorry I didn't get back tp you. I've had ALOT of very unpleasant things going on - first & foremost, trying to finalize my Dad's estate. My youngest sister is in charge of everything - I'm the oldest of 3 girls & that "job" was supposed to fall to me but I was "deemed unable to handle it"!! (by my 2 younger sisters & their husbands). I'll explain why that & many other hurtful decisions were made in more detail when I have more time. I just wanted to answer you back so you wouldn't think I didn't care or was ignoring you. I would NEVER do that! Please write back. I feel like I've made a friend, a very caring friend. Thank you so much, Jan And yes, use my email address ANYTIME!!!!!!!!
Dearest Karen, I know what you mean about "tearing-up" or just outright crying! The love of my life, my encourager, MY ROCK, giver of unconditional love (no matter what her "black sheep" had done that time). She was my EVERYTHING!!! I lost her May 8, 2006 & I "tear-up" or usually break down crying because the pain is so deep & there's absolutely NOTHING I can do to get to hold her in my arms again, to tell her how very sorry I am for all the rotten stuff I did!!!!! Don't get me wrong, I told her constantly, even before she got sick, how very sorry I was for everything. She ALWAYS put her arms around me & said, Jan, I love you, I forgive you & there's NOTHING you could EVER do to change that!! She said what broke her heart was the heavy burden of guilt I carried because I couldn't forgive myself. (I still can't - in fact, it's worse now). GOSH, please forgive me for going on like I did! I simply meant to tell you I could identify with alot of your feelings. Would you please answer me at my email address? Janrrscl@aol.com
As most of you know, I lost my 94 y.o. beloved Dad in November 2009. I was "ok" until last week when I realized when Richard (hubby) & I take trips we can no longer call my parents when we return to let them know we got home ok! We had a whole trip "ritual" with them: I gave Dad our flights to & from, sometimes call from the airport, you know, that kind of thing, etc. etc. All that's gone...Mom's there but it's NOT the same! How do I get past this? Another thing is my parents will NEVER know that I finally saw the Great Wall of China; also if something bad happens, they won't know that either!
I am so very sorry that man directed his anger and grief at you! That's not okay. (My own sister has vented her anger at me over her rebellious relationship with Mom). It's hurtful and painful.
I often said to Mom (& Dad) that I was going to try to get them to make it to 100 years-old. And I know that would still not be long enough. At Mom's wake a waiter asked how old she was and when I replied '84' he kind of shrugged it off like it was expected. It felt like a slap in the face. No matter how young or old our parents are when they pass on it would ever be long enough. Life passes in the blink of an eye and the feelings of loss are equally devastating.